Page 43 of Bride for Keeps

“What do you mean, why?”

“Why should I give her space when she’s upset and struggling?”

“Because people want to be alone when they feel like crap,” Lina said stubbornly, her scowl awfully deep for someone who, as far as he knew, had never even dated.

“No. I mean, maybe sometimes. We’re talking about people, and people are different and complex and flawed. There’s no one solution fits all, but Sierra… Look, she needs—”

Lina snorted. “I’m sorry, I find it really hard to believe you know what she needs.”

He looked at his sister then, really looked. In some ways, they were nothing alike. Lina had a sharp tongue and the older she got the less afraid she was to use it. But she could be hard and judgmental, and in that way he saw himself.

It softened him in some ways, because he knew that the hardness stemmed from trying to protect themselves. A shell they’d all grown in the face of their parents’ demanding expectations.

“Maybe I don’t know what she needs, but I know she’s scared. I know she’s running because she’s afraid that I can’t be what she needs. Why would I let her keep thinking that? Even if it’s not what she needs, though I have my doubts on that, I’ll never give someone I love the space to think the worst again. Not after dealing with the aftermath of that. I have to keep showing up even if it’s just to stand there.”

Lina frowned deeper, but she didn’t continue her argument.

“So, where is she?”

“I don’t know. She just told me she took your car and you needed a ride home.”

“Then I don’t need a ride home. I need a ride to her.”

Lina’s expression went a little soft. “Carter…”

“Help me find her, Lina. Please.”

“I think that’s the first time you’ve ever saidpleaseto me and actually meant it.”

“Well, that’s going to change.” A lot of things were.

Chapter Twelve

Sierra had spentthe morning driving around in Carter’s car. She should have returned it. She should have gone home, but she wasn’t ready to face anyone. So, she’d driven to the closest town from the McArthur cabin and gotten breakfast to go. She’d even filled up his gas tank as she’d driven in a meandering, back-roads fashion back to Marietta.

It had felt nice, kind of. Nothing but silence and gorgeous mountains and a pretty Montana morning. She’d never loved being alone, but there was something in it that gave her room to work through her thoughts, her feelings, her panic.

She’d hoped for the kind of clarifying moment she’d had in that Walmart bathroom. Was that only a week or so ago? It felt like years. Years and years ago.

But it hadn’t been, and instead of that absolutely sure resolution she’d made in that bathroom, she drove into Marietta feeling as unsure and confused as ever.

She didn’t want to leave Carter. She hadn’t wanted to leave that cabin. Love and being with him weregoodand she wanted those things. She wanted to believe everything he said about cracks and love and the things you had to do.

But no matter how much those things resonated, no matter how much she wondered if fixing this wasn’t the right answer, fear lingered.

Would this much fear linger if love was enough? She didn’t doubt they loved each other, what she doubted was the ability of love to survive…life. Or maybe even her.

She couldn’t face her parents with all this uncertainty. Not when they knew she’d been gone overnight and Carter had been the one to contact them and tell her where she was. They’d be expecting things and she wouldn’t know how to answer.

Not without showing them all her cracks. And there was all that fear again, mixed in with this new…desire. Almost as if she kind of wanted to let them see all her insecurities so they understood for once why she was the way she was.

Damn Carter. He’d messed her all up. She needed someone who’d talk some sense into her. Someone who saw her for what she was. Who knew how awful she could be and would support her in the very real knowledge that she,she, could not do this. She wasn’t strong enough for love and cracks and years upon years. Yes, that’s exactly what she needed.

She drove to Kaitlin’s apartment above the florist shop. It wasn’t fair to bother Kaitlin when she had anewborn, but Sierra was too mixed up to worry about fair. Too desperate for someone to reassure her what she knew to be true…was.

She parked and then went to the back and up the stairs to Kaitlin and Beckett’s apartment.

She knocked and Kaitlin answered, baby Ellie all curled up into her chest.

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