Page 44 of Bride for Keeps

Sierra’s own chest clutched tight. She was going to have one of those. A tiny, defenseless human being, and she was going to have to be strong enough to protect her or him, raise them to be good, upstanding people.

She rubbed at her chest as her sister’s expression registered surprise.

“Sierra.”

“Sorry. I know you’re probably like a million times exhausted and I didn’t tell you I was coming.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” Kaitlin said, moving aside so Sierra could step in. Kaitlin’s normally tidy place was a haphazard mess of baby things. “Beckett had to go into work for a few hours and it’s just me and Ellie and I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m terrified. I have to pee, but she cries every time I put her down and—”

Sierra held out her arms. “Give her to me. Pee.”

“Godblessyou,” Kaitlin said vehemently, handing Ellie over carefully and then rushing to the bathroom.

Sierra stood in the midst of a messy whirlwind, this tiny,tinylittle thing in her arms. Ellie blinked up at Sierra, her dark blue eyes seeming to take in Sierra’s face. Then she made a snorting noise, closed her eyes, and settled against Sierra’s arm.

When Kaitlin reappeared, Sierra surveyed her older sister. Kaitlin’s hair looked a bit like a rat’s nest, she had bags under her eyes, and there were spots here and there on the shoulders of her shirt.

“You could have called Mom. Or me,” Sierra said gently.

“I know, but I need to learn how to do it on my own. Iwantedto do it on my own. I just… She’s so little.”

“It’s a miracle how tiny.”

Kaitlin collapsed onto the couch so Sierra sat down on the opposite end, enjoying the feeling of tiny, warm dozing baby in her arms. It was almost enough to make her problems feel far away.

But she’d come hereabouther problems, hadn’t she? She couldn’t exactly ignore them forever. Lina had probably already made it out to the cabin to pick up Carter and he’d likely be wanting his car back.

But Kaitlin was slumped on the couch, eyes half closed.

“You look like you could use a nap.”

“I could use a coma,” Kaitlin replied, but she smiled as she said it. “Or maybe just a bigger house. Beckett’s been taking the night wake-ups, but I can’t sleep through it anyway.”

“How’s he handling the daddy business?”

Kaitlin’s smile bloomed even more. “It really is something to watch the man you love be a dad.” At that, Kaitlin straightened a bit and glanced Sierra’s way. “So.”

“So.” Sierra let out a long sigh. “So.” She should open with something that made sense. A segue of sorts. Instead… “I slept with Carter. Again.”

Kaitlin’s eyes went wide. “So, you’re going to work things out?”

Sierra looked down at the baby’s closed eyes and slightly open mouth. “No, I… No.”

“It might be the baby brain, but I’m confused.”

“I’m not cut out for this whole…thing.”

“Marriage?”

“Yes. Marriage. Love. You have to… You know me, Kaitlin. You grew up with me. I’m not cut out for hard stuff. I don’t have your strength or Luke’s grit. I’m not smart. I don’t have any interests. I’m just… I’m not cut out to be the wife of someone like Carter.”

Kaitlin studied her for a few seconds and Sierra frowned because she did not see what she expected to, which was pure agreement. Or even reluctant agreement.

“I don’t believe incut out,Sierra,” Kaitlin said, and it wasn’t in that careful about-to-let-you-down-easy way. It was fierce. It reminded her of the way Carter had talked to her yesterday. “I believe in the choices we make. They aren’t always easy or fun, but they’re ours, and they determine our future.”

“I’m choosing to save him from—”

“Does he want to be saved from you?”

---