Page 57 of The Reluctant Wife

Her cheeks flush. Her pupils dilate. She’s remembering how it felt to be bent over that kitchen counter as I spanked her with my belt and made her orgasm. And again, as I made her come twice before I took her virginity.

I’m almost not sorry I gave in to my baser instincts and fucked her. It was the most incredible experience of my life. It was sublime. It’s something I, too, am going to remember for a long time. Likely, the rest of my life. Especially since I won’t be repeating the experience; not now that I know she’s taken.

But if she weren't promised to another? I’d never let her go.I’d tie her to the bed and not let her loose until I made love to her over and over again. Until I used the dominance she’s so attracted to, to make her do everything I ask of her. Until I make her orgasm over and over again, filling her with so many endorphins, she'll barely be able to walk.

She must sense some of my thoughts, for her blush deepens, and she looks away. She squeezes her thighs together, and I have no doubt she’s wet and hurting, wanting and ready for my cock again. The blood thrums in my veins. My cock lengthens. Of course, my dick is ready to disregard the fact that her fiancé is waiting downstairs and take her right here. I close the distance to her, and she doesn’t flinch. She tips up her chin, defiance in her features, a glitter in her eyes.

She’s not afraid of facing up to her mistakes. She’s courageous enough to stand up to my authority over her body. It takes a princess and the imperiousness that comes from her upbringing to confront my controlling manner. Still, her breath hitches, and the pulse that speeds up at the base of her throat tells me she’s feeling the tug of my power.

She’s tasted how it feels to submit to me. To hand over control to what I can do to her in the bedroom, and revel in the freedom that comes with it. Too bad, I’m not going to explore that further. I shove my thoughts aside. "What concerns me most is that you don’t think enough of yourself to anticipate that I might want more."

"Oh." She seems taken aback. "Do you… Do you want more?"

"You mean, more than bending your tight little body to my ministrations to make you orgasm?" I peer into her features. "Like showing you how I can take you to the edge and not allow you to come, to have you panting and writhing and moaning under me, and still not let you get your satisfaction?"

She swallows.

"Like looking behind the sass and seeing the submissive who wants to be told what to do in bed?” A fierce ache cleaves my chest. “Like looking into your eyes and seeing the woman who I’d do anything for?"

Her gaze widens. There’s longing in her eyes. A yearning I recognize. A need. A pining. A craving.

"Question is, do you?" I ask, knowing I’m putting her on the spot and hating myself. But also, not seeing any way out. I certainly didn't expect to bare so much more of my emotions to her. But I meant everything I said.

This complex, gorgeous, stubborn, spitfire makes me feel off balance in a way I’ve never felt before.

Her gaze bounces around the room, then she lowers her head.

"Don't bother answering,” I say, half angry, half resigned.

The one woman who stirred something in me since Jane died, and of course, she’s unavailable. It’s poetic justice. I deserve it for being responsible for what happened to Jane.

She hunches her shoulders. "I… I wish things were different."

So do I.I recognize the sadness in her tone. The regret. The remorse. And I feel it too. "You deserve every happiness, Princess. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials," I say in a formal tone.

She jerks her glance up. Her eyes glisten. I hate myself for hurting her. I want to tell her I want everything I said earlier, and more. I want to demand that she break off the engagement, but I will not. It’s not for me to ask that of her. I know what it is to sacrifice everything in the name of duty for your country. This is her calling, and I will not stand in the way of it.

"I won’t say I forgive you for what you hid from me, but I understand how difficult it is when you’re bound to fulfill your obligations to your country. It’s not an easy role you have, Princess. You carry an enormous burden on your shoulders. It’snot an excuse for your keeping news of your engagement from me. But I also won’t hold it against you."

Tears fill her eyes. "Ryot."

My heart seizes up. My fingers tingle to reach up and wipe away the drop of moisture that clings to the corner of her eye, but I stop myself. "It’s not worth your crying, Princess." I soften my tone. "You have your duty to your people, and I have mine—to protect you."

"You’ll continue as my bodyguard?" There’s hope in her eyes.

And I want to say no. I want to say I can’t bear to be with her and watch her with someone else. That my grandfather can go to hell. I don’t care if I’m defying his orders, but I will not accompany her and her fiancé to Verenza. That if I see her fiancé touch her, I’m going to break his arm… But I don’t.Am I really going to put myself through this?

Am I going to inflict the worst kind of pain on myself—for once, take on the role of masochist instead of sadist, which is my natural inclination? Fuck.I curl my fingers into fists at my sides and nod slowly. If something were to happen to her, I’d never forgive myself. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I’ve lost one woman who was important to me. I will not let that happen again. So, I nod. "Until I track down those who want to harm you, I’ll stay on as your bodyguard."There isn’t anyone else I’d trust with your safety.

"Thank you." She swipes at the corners of her eyes. My ribcage tightens. Once again, I have to stop myself from taking her in my arms and kissing her pain away.She’s the principal. I’m the bodyguard. This is the only relationship we have.

I head for the door and hold it open. “It’s best we leave. We’re expected at my grandfather’s place for dinner."

"Your grandfather’s place?" A crease forms on her forehead.

I rub the back of my neck. "I’ll fill you in on the way.”

28

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