Page 14 of Mine

I grin again.

CravingMore: I’m not sure if I should be offended or proud… Honestly, it’s a little of both.

FulfillingDominance: You almost made me choke on my dessert.

CravingMore: In a good way, Sir?

FulfillingDominance: Yes, from chuckling and from hunger my treat can’t sate.

Trembles run the length of me, my skin flushing and blood heading to my groin.

CravingMore: Ugh…I want to sate your hunger. Please, will you make me come?

I watch, waiting for him to reply…one minute, two, three. The silence stretches out, making me wonder if I said or did something wrong. Maybe I ruined this. Maybe I’m the one who’s bad at it, and those other Doms didn’t do it for me because I don’t know what I’m doing.

My fingers twitch over the keyboard, but I’m not sure what to say. I don’t want to mess this up, to do the wrong thing. I’m sure he wants patience in a boy, and I want to show him I can do that.

FulfillingDominance: Sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you waiting. I had to take care of something.

I breathe out a sigh of relief, the tension slowly leaving my body, like air from a punctured balloon.

CravingMore: I was scared I had done something wrong.

FulfillingDominance: Scared?

CravingMore: Maybe that’s the wrong word, but nervous… I like this…what we’ve done and talking to you. It’s not like we really know each other or have done much, but it feels right…good. I don’t want to ruin it…don’t want to mess up.

FulfillingDominance: Is that typical for you? Fearing you’ll mess up? Or do the wrong thing?

Bits and pieces of my life flutter through my head. Disappointing my parents, losing my best friend when I came out and wondering if I should have stayed in the closet. Quitting lacrosse when I was good enough to have gotten a scholarship to a D1 college, and the way everyone told me it was selfish and wasting a good opportunity. Hell, even the dates I’ve been on or the men I’ve had scenes with where things weren’t what I needed, part of me wondered if I was the problem.

CravingMore: Yes…Jesus. How have I never realized that about myself? I have a fear of messing up and letting people down, yet…

FulfillingDominance: Yet?

CravingMore: I don’t change. I stay on my path. Does that make me an asshole?

FulfillingDominance: No, boy. It doesn’t. It means you know who you are and what you want, and you won’t sacrifice that. Those are good qualities to have.

CravingMore: How do you know when I haven’t even told you the situations?

FulfillingDominance: If you were here, that might have gotten you a spanking…but I guess you’re right in some ways. Call it intuition. But if we continue this and if we meet, I want you to always be honest with me if you feel that way. And if you do ever let me down, I’ll be honest with you and tell you why and how. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we’re bad or that there’s something wrong with us.

I lean back against the headboard, the worry balloon completely deflated now, and just like that, the stress ebbs. Which is strange because my parents don’t hold back fromtelling me when they aren’t happy with something I’ve done, and all it does is piss me off, but I need it from him.

CravingMore: Thank you, Sir. I would like that very much…and I’d also like more with you…to meet up sometime or video chat? Is that something you would allow?

I hold my breath. The indicator that he’s typing shows, so I know he’s not leaving me hanging this time.

FulfillingDominance: Not tonight. In fact, I’d like you to get dressed for me. Tonight, we just talk. We’ll continue this way for a little while, and maybe have another scene here, but I don’t do face shots or videos. It’s important to protect yourself online, and I would like you to do the same. You don’t know me, and once your face is out there, you can’t take that back.

I roll my eyes, slightly frustrated. I get what he’s saying, but in this day and age, does it really matter?

FulfillingDominance: You’re disappointed.

CravingMore: Yes, Sir.

Is he a mind reader or what?

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