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FulfillingDominance: But you’ll obey because it’s what I wish for you to do…and you want to be a good boy for me. I’m only looking out for you.

Ugh. Why are my insides melting? Why do I want some random man to take care of me like that? Even when it’s completely annoying and ridiculous.

CravingMore: Yes, Sir. I want to do as you say. I’ll get dressed now…even if I don’t want to.

FulfillingDominance: You can’t see my face, but know I’m smiling.

Damned if that doesn’t make me smile too.

*

“So you’re stilltalking with the creepy guy who won’t show his face?” Reggie asks as we walk along the trail at Dorothea Dix Park. This isn’t the first time we’ve had this conversation. It’sbeen about a month since my one and only scene with Sir, yet we’ve continued to meet up about four nights a week.

“He’s not creepy. He’s…nice.” Really nice. I like talking to him in ways I wouldn’t have foreseen. In the beginning, I was just looking for someone to dominate me, and while that’s totally what I still want—and it’s not like I expect or want a relationship with Sir—I do enjoy our conversations. He has a sense of humor, and he seems to think I’m funny too.

“What’s his name again?” Reggie asks, and I shake my head.

“He’s protective online and wants the same for me, which is sweet. I like feeling taken care of in that way, like he wants what’s best for me, and…well, also just because he likes to be the boss of me, and he knows it drives me crazy not to see him.” I chuckle, looking out at the green space of the rolling hills and trees around us. I can’t pretend I don’t want to know more about Sir, that I wouldn’t love to know what he looks like, but the satisfaction I get in doing as he says, letting him make the rules, eases that need.

“Yeah…I don’t know. I feel like he has something to hide. Everyone sends photos. Everyone video chats. If he won’t do anything like that, he’s not who he says he is—or wants to chop you up in little pieces and bury you in his backyard.”

I nudge Reggie’s arm. “You’re being dramatic.”

“And you never are?”

He’s got me there. “I like him, Reg. Not likeOh my God, I love him, but I like talking to him and how he makes me feel… I really want to meet him.”

He sighs, and I get it. He’s being a good friend and looking out for me, but somehow, I just know Sir is on the level. I feel it in my bones, and I’m not the type of guy to usually think things like that.Feel it in my bones?I mean, what the fuck even is that?

“I just don’t want you to get hurt. You sit in that room, talking to him like he’s your boyfriend. I’ve never seen you get attachedto someone like this, and I hate that it’s with someone you don’t really know anything about.”

In some ways he’s right. While it feels like Sir and I talk about everything, like I’ve let him in on parts of me no one else knows or sees—and I do think he does the same with me—we don’t talk about anything too personal. I know he’s not married and never has been. I know he has no children. I know he likes to read and watches foreign movies and works out, but I don’t know where he works, his name, or the nitty-gritty details of his day-to-day life. He doesn’t know any of that about me either.

Jesus… Maybe there’s a reason we don’t talk about those things. Maybe he does have something to hide.

“I’ll talk to him again about meeting…or at least video chatting. Will that make you feel better?”

“Take your pepper spray and leave your location on so I can find you. If I have to go kick some old man’s ass, I will.”

We laugh together.

“He’s notold.” As soon as I say it, I realize he’s never told me his age. What if I’m being catfished and none of this is what I’m hoping it could be?

CHAPTER EIGHT

Marshall

“How are yousettling in?” John asks when we meet for lunch. I considered asking him to go to JT’s restaurant but decided against it. It isn’t my place to get into the middle of their relationship. John and I have too much history between us, for me to suddenly start meddling in his relationship with his son. Not only that, but no matter how appreciative JT was to see me there a month ago, that doesn’t mean showing up with John would be a good idea. Would JT assume John only went because of me?

“I’m settling in just fine,” I reply.

“Do you like the people you work with? Gotten to know any of them? You have a habit of losing yourself in work and not much else. You should meet friends, Marsh…just as long as none of them take my place.”

I chuckle. I can’t say he’s wrong, and he mentions these things only because he cares so much. It’s not as if I’m a loner or a total introvert. I’ve had friends. I go do things, but probably not as much as most people, and letting people in is difficult for me. Surface relationships and having random people to go out with works much better for me than trying to build what I have with John with anyone else.

I open my mouth to reply, but then I think about CravingMore and stop myself. What would John think if I told him that not only have I been spending my evenings talking to a twenty-five-year-old sub online, but that I look forward to it more than anything I can remember in a long time? That I don’tknow what he looks like or the sound of his voice or the color of his eyes, but I enjoy flirting with him, teasing him, snagging quiet pieces of who he is from the conversations we have.

Somehow, I don’t think that’s what John is talking about. “No one could ever take your place, John. You’re my brother.”

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