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FulfillingDominance: Yes, it’s okay. And I think disappointment is a part of life—both feeling disappointed and others feeling it in us. What matters is the why and how you deal with it. Being true to yourself is always the most important thing. Is this about being a sub?

I wait on pins and needles. Is he going to decide this is something he doesn’t want? Though I don’t believe that’s true at all. Despite never having met him, I sense how much CravingMore wants this, needs this, that it’s a part of who he is, the way it’s part of who I am. It could be that’s how he feels he’s letting someone down.

FulfillingDominance: There is someone in my life who doesn’t understand, and it’s a topic we haven’t discussed in years. I know it made them look at me differently, and that hurt, but I couldn’t deny who I am, and I damn sure know there’s nothing wrong with it. The truth is, other people don’t have to understand us, they just have to give us the freedom to be who we are and love us regardless.

CravingMore: Jesus, I just got goose bumps reading that. It’s not about my sexuality or being a sub, but I can relate all the same. And I can definitely say that this person with other expectations from me would probably be disgusted if they knew that sometimes I ache with the need to completely let go…to give control to someone else to fuck me and hurt me and order me around as they please.

My cock twitches beneath my boxer briefs, sweat beading on my brow. I want to be that for him in a way I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted with anyone else. I don’t understand the draw, the connection, but it’s palpable and making me yearn.

CravingMore: Sir?he asks when I don’t reply for a few minutes.

FulfillingDominance: I’m here, boy. Trying to remind myself that I should focus on making sure you know that being true to yourself isthe most important thing, and that nothing you want is a reason to be disgusted with you, but I’m getting distracted by my cock.

CravingMore: Yes, that, please. Can we focus on that? Sir, can we focus on your cock? I want to meet you…to serve you. I crave being your good boy.

An electrical current of want shoots through me. It’s been a long time, too fucking long. I can’t put my finger on why I’m putting this off with him, why I haven’t met with him yet, because I know I will. My desire for him is too strong, the things he says make me too curious. I want to take him apart, make him cry and put him back together over and over and over again.

Part of me fears that if we meet, it won’t feel the same as it does here. That I’ll lose this part of my nights that I’ve come to look forward to so much over the last month. That he’ll feel too young for me or I’ll be too old for him, which is absurd. These aren’t possibilities I’ve ever worried about before. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t even know this man, so I don’t understand why it matters.

But I want him. There’s no denying it.

FulfillingDominance: Do you have a dildo?

I imagine a smile on his face when he reads my question. Does one side of his mouth kick up higher than the other? Does he have dimples? I’m dying to see him, even though I won’t do that. Even if we move forward online, I won’t allow him to show his face.

CravingMore: Yes, Sir.

FulfillingDominance: I want you to do exactly as I say. Can you do that for me? Can you follow my orders precisely?

My blood heats simply from my typing those words.

CravingMore: Yes. I promise. I’ll be good.

FulfillingDominance: I know you will. First, I want you to switch over to your phone. I know you said you have the app on there. Take off your clothes for me and send me a photo of your hole. Don’t get your face init, just your hole. That’s all I need from you tonight, and all you need is to give me what I want.

CravingMore: Yes, Sir. I can do that.

FulfillingDominance: Not yet.

FulfillingDominance: After I see my hole—because when we’re in a scene, it belongs to me—I want you to get your dildo and lube. Take a second photo with the dildo inmyhole. Once you send me that, you have eight minutes to fuck yourself with it and get yourself off. I want a photo of your load on your stomach when you’re finished. If you can do that in eight minutes, I’ll plan a date for us to meet.

CravingMore: Jesus, yes. God yes. I want that. I’m ready.

My pulse quickens unexpectedly, like this is new and unfamiliar to me. This reaction he inspires is both confusing and intoxicating. I can’t stop wanting more.

FulfillingDominance: Okay. Begin.

I set my laptop aside and tug off my underwear. My dick is hard and throbbing, pulsing with need as I grab the lube from the drawer. Once I’m slicked up, I start to stroke myself, eyes glued to the screen, waiting for the first photo to come through.

My cock pulses when it does, his pale cheeks spread to show the tight, pink ring between them. There’s a light dusting of hair in his crack, and as sexy as that may be, one day I’ll shave it for him.

FulfillingDominance: Good boy.

A minute later the next photo comes through, the phone angled so I can’t see anything but his ass propped up on the pillow, hole stuffed and stretched with a dildo. A shiver runs the length of me, my dick pulsing in my hand.

FulfillingDominance: I can’t wait to fuck you. I will the first time we meet. Maybe I’ll fuck you in the bathroom of a restaurant or coffeehouse where we meet…but that’s only if you hurry and make yourself come.

I quicken my strokes on my aching erection, eyes never leaving the screen, waiting for more. CravingMore doesn’t respond, obeying me and only doing as I say.

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