Page 12 of Bookstore Bliss

Mortified, I can feel my cheeks start to redden. The room feels extra hot now, I take a large gulp of my wine.

“It’s not about him.” I set my glass down. “I thought I’d have more time with my grandmother’s store.”

“Maybe, but you’ve already been here a week,” Marie points out. “That’s longer than you were in town for your grandmother’s funeral.”

“That’s true. I was able to get most things organized from out of state. And I took the items I wanted to keep before letting my lawyers handle the house sale and estate things. It wasn’t too complicated.” I play with the hem of my shirt.

I spent more time with my grandmother in bookstore than her home. Her house was a place she slept. The store was where she lived.

That’s why I’m dragging my feet. It’s not because of Seth.

“Take it from me,” Bethany tops my glass up, “he looks at you like he did back then.” She shakes her head. “No that’s not quite right. He used to look at you with puppy dog eyes, so cute and endearing. Now it’s more like a hunger.” She mimics a cat growl and paw motion.

The room erupts into laughter, even I can’t help but giggle.

“I have missed him, and it seems like nothing has changed.”

“What does your gut think?” Sally inquires, “If you left tomorrow would you have regrets?”

I already regret leaving the first time.

I never stopped loving Seth.

For the first time my feelings are beating out what my brain is saying. I didn’t want to give in to love completely. I left to avoid any heartache, but instead I caused myself to never truly love another person. Seth has always been there at the back of my brain. whenever something amazing happened, he was the one I wanted to call but never did. He was my first love and my only love thus far.

None of my relationships since have moved past the early dating stages. They’ve all fizzled out like sparklers.

Maybe it’s time to take a risk.

I steer the conversation away from me, my mind muddled with the decisions I need to make. Sally and Marie talk about their husbands attempting surfing lessons. The rest of the evening is full of laughter, wine, and cookies. Everyone leaves with hugs, books, and empty Tupperware. I walk away with revived and new friendships.

Maybe I could make a home for myself in Kastle Harbor.

I make a note to call my realtor tomorrow with my change of plans.

8

SETH

I spent all week avoiding any chance of running into Kristen. It meant making coffee at home and avoiding Main Street but I made it to Friday night dinner. I feel bad about the things I said to Kristen when I left, but I’m also still angry at her for being so reckless with another person’s feelings.

I meet Riley and Jacquiline for our standing family dinner at Jacquiline’s place. Riley greets me at the door with a big hug. She is full of energy and tells me all about her week. I see her at school but it doesn’t stop her from telling me all about the happenings between her and her friends. She grabs some of the books she got from Kristen.

“I told mommy about the bookstore lady.” Riley hands me a picture books that has pop up dinosaurs on each page. “Do you think she has more like this?” I flip through it.

“I think she gave you all she had, squirt.” I hand it back to her.

“Dinner is ready you two,” Jacquiline calls from the kitchen. I go help her carry the food to the table.

Dinner passes with bits of silence while we all enjoy the lasagna and garlic bread. Riley fills the rest of the time telling us about her favorite doll and how she’s now a spy for the teddybears. Riley finishes her meal and goes to grab her stuff for her week with me.

“She has the best imagination.” I start to bring the dishes into the kitchen for Jacquiline “You make the best lasagna Jacq.” I kiss her cheek and set the plates next to the sink.

“That’s the only reason you married me,” she chuckles as she fills the dishwasher.

“It’s not the only reason, you were quite a catch.” I shift my feet. “Tell me more about this bookstore lady Riley has talked about all week.”

“Oh, Kristen…” I run my hand through my hair. “She’s an old friend from high school. She’s the one that Riley invited to dinner but I didn’t have a great way to explain that she’s not really a girlfriend but an old friend.”

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