Page 11 of Bookstore Bliss

People don’t change. Kristen has a plan and no one else can be a part of it.

“I assume it’ll be like last time then. You’ll leave without a goodbye?”

“You just don’t get it Seth.” She looks down, her hands in her lap now.

“No, I don’t. And I’ll save you the time, I’ll leave this time.” I stand and collect my items.

“Don’t be like that Seth, we can still have a good time while I’m in town.”

“Pretend you don’t have my number.” I turn to leave but stop. Her eyes widen, as if she’s expecting me to take it all back. “You can’t be around me and Riley. I’ll get over you, I’ve done it before. But you’ll break her little heart when you leave.”

I leave without another word. Kristen doesn’t follow. I head home, not caring about getting my favorite flannel back.

She texts me later that day and I don’t even open her message.

I swore I’d never go through heartache again after Kristen. But I was so young and naïve then. Now I think I was too sentimental, clinging on to the chance that this time it’d be different. Maybe people don’t get a second chance on relationships.

7

KRISTEN

I can’t stand to bring myself to follow Seth as he leaves the bakery. Instead, I finish my cold croissant and coffee before heading to the store. His words hurt, but the truth is what dug into me. It’s as if I’m gripping a bunch of roses by their thorns.

Love is beautiful, but painful.

And to think I’m causing him pain, again, has me wallowing in the silence of the dusty bookstore. In an effort to meet him I send a text about returning his shirt. But by the evening he still hasn’t read it. I curl up on the sofa bed and try to focus on reading. The words blur together. All I can think about is the day I left for California.

I had my bags packed ready for my mom to drive me to the airport. Seth and I had done nothing but argued about our respective college choices, long distance relationships, and our future together. He was adamant we could stay together and make it work.

Seth’s always been a romantic.

But I saw what love did to my mother after my dad died.

Every year she got worse and while I loved Seth, I never wanted to be put through that intense of heartache. Instead of discussing our future further, I ended things and left withouta word. I settled into my college routine, changed my number, and seldom made visits to Maine. When I visited, I pretty much holed up with my grandmother in her place.

I’ll give him a few days to cool off. Last night was the best sex I’ve had in years and I know he enjoyed it as much as I did. Enough to go another round this morning in the shower.

Yeah, I’ll give him a few days to cool down.

Then maybe he’ll be open to talking and would consider something more casual until I leave for California. I could avoid the times he has Riley.

Wednesday night is wine night with the girls and I come bearing a stack of romance books to give out. I meet them all at Bethany’s home. I knew Marie, Bethany, and Violet from way back but this is the first time I’m meeting Sally. I can see how Victor fell for her, she’s an absolute delight. Everyone brought something. The coffee table is full of cookies, wine bottles, and my stack of paperbacks.

“How’s the listing going for the bookstore?” Bethany asks as she pours me a glass of rosé.

“I met with my realtor yesterday. She took a bunch of pictures and said it shouldn’t take long for a buyer.” I run my fingers around the edge of my wineglass as I stare at the pink liquid.

“Why so glum?” Violet offers me a treat as she speaks. I take a sugar cookie and set my glass down.

“I guess I thought I’d end up being in town a lot longer.” I eat the cookie. No wonder the bakery is always packed. I’ve yet to have something I haven’t loved.

“Because you want to spend more time in town,” Bethany sharpens her gaze, “or spend more time with a certain six-foot-tall hunk?”

Sally’s eyes widen as she looks between us.

“Who’s the mystery hunk?” Sally questions as I immediately stutter out that it’s nothing like that.

“You know Seth? He has the cute little girl and they come in for cake pops?” Sally nods along as I shake my head back and forth.

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