Page 42 of Hooked on Loving Him

Kyce:

Not to mention that Sassy has been here for so long that Masani bought her a kennel so she would be comfortable like Peaches.

Jawaan:

First, Kyce goes and knocks up the first nurse who revitalizes his comatose dick.

Now here Kayshon comes, changing his locks so I can’t hear Non-soprano lowering his sperm count while she is singing.

I ain’t gotta keep taking this neglect and shit. I’m moving to Columbus.

Kyce:

Shut your crybaby ass up.

Jawaan:

Nah. You niggas hurt my feelings. *running emoji*

Laughter bubbles to the surface at seeing the emoji Jawaan has added to his message because he plays all day and is the most unserious nigga I know.

“What’s so funny?” Ashari asks.

“In a text debate with my brothers, and Jawaan is whining.”

“He needs a woman but wouldn’t let my bestie take care of him when she offered.”

“To know Jawaan is to know that he’s cautious regarding his dealings with women. As unserious as he is, he’s also jaded in a way most wouldn’t understand, making it hard for women to see the man he truly is.”

“Oh, really? How?—”

“It’s not my place to tell Jawaan’s story. I’ve already said more than I should have, so please don’t repeat that to anyone.”

*ping*

Pulling my eyes away from Ashari, I shake my head at the message on my phone that I know is only gonna fuel Jawaan.

Kyce:

Father, I come to you on behalf of my little brother. Send the woman that’s for him and that Masani has seen expeditiously. I don’t want him to be lonely anymore and Cleo is weary in well-doing. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen

Jawaan:

Kyce, I say this as best as I can…go to the deepest part of hell and rest there. As a matter of fact, I’m about to call Masani and tell her that you didn’t wash Mycah’s binky when it hit the table, talking about the nonexistent five-second rule.

Me:

Bro, you’re petty. *laughing emoji*

Jawaan:

Petty is Ashari being kicked out of Heaven for breaking the celestial windows while auditioning for the Jubilee choir and Hell for making Satan’s ears bleed while running around the fire thinking his bitch ass would beg God to give her another chance.

Me:

Fuck you nigga. My baby has an angelic voice.

Jawaan:

---