Page 41 of Hooked on Loving Him

Being laid up with Ashari doesn’t sound like a bad idea, especially after ole boy had me dancing around him like I was Apollo Creed in theRockymovies with his opponents.

“Good. Let’s go to your house so I can see what it feels like for you to make love to me in your bed.”

“Damn. Say less, Shari.”

“How do you feel about self-sucking?” Ashari instantly asks out of the blue, causing me to grab the remote and mute the TV.

“Uh… what the hell are you talking about, Ashari?”

Her question came out of left field, which confused me because we’re currently watching reruns ofA Different Worldwhere nothing is happening.

“One of my friends called me while I was at work, going off about meeting some guy who sucked his own dick when she refused to do it. I’m just wondering if this is something common amongst men.”

“Have I asked you to suck my dick, Ashari?” Wrinkles dance like waves on my forehead as I look down at her, despite her eyes remaining on the still TV screen.

“Uh… no,” she says as if there’s a puzzle in her answer as she shifts her body, looking up at me.

“If I don’t want you sucking my dick, you can bank I ain’t putting my mouth on it. You need to tell your girl to keep better male company. I ain’t never heard of no shit like that before.”

“Well, that makes me happy because if you did, I would tell you to go ahead with the vasectomy because nobody needs to be birthing your babies in this lifetime.”

“Oh, now you don’t want to have my babies, Ashari?”

“Ugh. Pick a side, Kayshon Patton. Either you’re getting snipped or you’re not.” Rolling her eyes, Ashari takes the remote from my hand, unpausing the TV while resuming her previous position.

“Crazy ass woman,” I say with a low chuckle.

“No sperm-having man.”

My body shakes with the laughter echoing from me at the dig Ashari makes as her giggles send warmth throughout my extremities. As Ashari continues watching the old-school HBCU sitcom, I pick up my phone and text the group chat between me and my brothers.

Me:

Which one of y’all will cop to Rema having you suck your own dick? *side-eye emoji*

Before I can lock my phone or put it down, it starts buzzing back-to-back, letting me know that either both or one of my brothers are answering my question.

Kyce:

??

Jawaan:

No habla ingles, fuck nigga

Kyce:

At least Google the rest of the statement in Spanish, little brother.

Jawaan:

I can’t hear Jimmy, big bro. I’m unsure if he’s having a Shug Avery moment or if Ashari has him doing some shit he wants us to cop to with his cringy ass.

Me and Cleo are about to come over and get Sassy’s ass out of there. She doesn’t want any parts of whatever is going down over there, Kayshon.

Me:

I changed my locks, so good luck with that shit.

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