Page 85 of Not As Advertised

“Then that settles it. We’re on board. Right, Indie?”

“Yeah, we are. Just please text us to let us know you’re okay. And for the love of god, tell your mom you’re working weird hours and weekends until you get back so you can just enjoy yourself without all her bullshit.”

Indie and Emery had come to my rescue many times over the years. I was determined to do this next part on my own, just to know I could.

I’d already made some big choices lately. It was time to stop being so afraid to make mistakes and start living my life on my own terms. First and foremost, that meant determining whether I could pursue photography like I’d always wanted to.

“This is a good thing. I’ll get time to think about everything without constantly being exhausted from working all day. I’ve gone nowhere with the specific purpose of taking photos. Everything looks so beautiful from the approximately five minutes of research I’ve done. I’m actually looking forward to that part. I’ll have a great portfolio for my photography class by the time I get back.”

I was also really nervous and really sad. But I didn’t say that part out loud.

“Make sure to take lots of pictures of hot surfers all along the coast. We’ll compare them when we meet you in LA, you know, for research.” A blush crept over Emery’s cheeks as she laughed.

I clung to the idea that a change of scenery would be distracting enough that I could lose myself in taking pictures and not spend all my time obsessing over a guy (er, man, whatever).

Even though I felt doubt simmering inside me, I wanted to do it.

I looked up to see Claire glaring at me from across the waiting room. Mom was still standing near the ward doorway, having stopped her movements when she heard me on the phone.

“What?” I wasn’t in any mood to take any attitude from my sister.

Despite her fiery personality, Claire was conscious of this being a public space in a children’s hospital, so she waited until she’d crossed the room and sat beside me to say anything.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” She didn’t hold back.

“Excuse me?” Claire and I had always had a great relationship. We rarely fought, and she had certainly never called me a name since she was about four years old.

“Just what I said. You’re a fucking idiot. You just broke up with the woman you love on the fucking phone. There was no way your boss gave you an ultimatum on that call. So what were you thinking?” If Claire scrunched her forehead any further in her anger, she was going to have permanent creases in her skin.

“First of all, you have no idea what you’re talking about. I cannot fuck around with my job, and I was afucking idiottothink I could keep my relationship away from the prying eyes at the office. I knew it was wrong, both professionally and ethically, but I gave in anyway.” I shouldn’t have to explain this to her.

I’d always told my sisters how important it was to make responsible choices. We didn’t have the luxury of fucking up when we’d barely had enough money to make rent and feed ourselves. I’d been lucky to get out of a few run-ins with the wrong crowd unscathed as a teenager. I’d promised myself I’d do better for everyone after coming close to ending up in jail or worse.

“I’ll give it to you that the optics suck. And yeah, maybe you should have told your boss. But we can’t control who we fall in love with, Aiden. I saw the way you looked at her in the café that day. She could have personally hung the moon in the sky as far as you were concerned. Why would you give up a once-in-a-lifetime person like that for a fucking job?”

“Don’t talk about things you don’t understand, Claire. Who said anything about love?” I’d just hit the limit of my patience. First, Jack and then Abbie. I didn’t have the capacity to take shit from anyone else today.

I felt Mom sit down beside me silently, but I was too wound up to acknowledge her.

“Explain it to me, then, big brother.”

“Everything I’ve done for the past two decades has led me to this job. I’m finally making the kind of money that’s going to ensure all our futures. We need this money. I can’t risk my entire career on a relationship that probably wouldn’t work out in the long run. Look at the start we’ve had. I insisted we keep things a secret, and now it’s a disaster. Not to mention that Abbie is too young for me, which I knew from the start. She’s going to want something different in a few years, and then where will that leave me?” Claire’s frustration had my temper leaking into my voice.

Claire’s shoulders had slumped as she listened, the fight now fully drained from her system. Her glare had softened into something like sympathy or pity, and I couldn’t stand to look at it.

I turned to Mom for backup, only to find the twin expression on her face.

“What?” There was some sort of misunderstanding here.

“Aiden, honey. I’m so sorry.” Mom’s eyes had welled up at some point. “I failed you in so many ways. And now you’re paying for it.”

Failed me? That was impossible. What alternate universe had I suddenly been transported into?

“Come on, Mom. That’s insane. You haven’t failed me, ever.” I didn’t want her thinking she had.

“Honey, I did. I didn’t see it at the time, but I leaned on you too much after Patrick died. You were just so mature beyond your years. And you loved your sisters so much. I let you take on so many adult responsibilities way too soon.” She patted my arm.

“Of course I love Isabel and Claire. What are you talking about? It was my job to help you when you needed it.” I was more confused by the moment.

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