Page 86 of Not As Advertised

“See, that’s where you’re wrong.” I opened my mouth to disagree, but she squeezed my arm to stop me. “Your job was to be a fourteen-year-old young man who got to live your own life and make your own mistakes. Instead, you became a pseudo-parent to your sisters. And you’ve never let go of that massive burden.” Tears fell down her cheeks as she spoke. I couldn’t stand to see her hurting.

“You did everything you could for us, Mom. I wanted to help.” I looked at Claire. “You were never a burden to me. You have to know that.” A storm was brewing inside me, making me more desperate than ever to make sure they understood me.

Claire, who looked moments away from crying herself, jumped in.

“I know, Aiden. You are the best big brother I could ask for. I’m guilty of letting you take care of me for too long. I should have told you no years ago when you insisted on paying my tuition.”

“Claire, why wouldn’t I do that for you if I can afford it? I don’t want you to start your career drowning in debt like I did, even with the help of scholarships.”

“That’s exactly it, Aiden. You feel like you need to take care of all of us just like you did after Dad died. Except we’re all adults here. It’s not your job to provide for all of us. We’re more than capable.” Claire wiped the tears that were now falling down her cheeks absently.

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to protect my family from hardship,” I argued. They were insane if they thought I would just fuck off and not think about what they needed.

Mom had recovered enough to join back in the conversation.

“There isn’t, honey. But you’ve done a lot more than that. You’ve sacrificed every part of yourself thinking that money was going to solve everything. You’ve worked yourself to the bone for years, given up any chance at a personal life.”

She just didn’t understand. To get to the top of my field, I had to put in the hours. There was no half-assing my way into a VP position.

“I want you all to be happy.”

“I know you do. But why do we get to pursue the life we want and you don’t?” Claire’s words had made my gut sour.

I had no rebuttal for that one. I’d been obsessed with getting ahead for so many years I hadn’t stopped to think about what I wanted. It didn’t even register, I realized.

Except Abbie. You wanted her.

“You deserve to be happy too, Aiden. Don’t let your fear of something bad happening, like it did with Dad’s death, stop you from actually living. Can you honestly say that you don’t love Abbie? That your age difference really matters all that much? That you’d rather spend your life alone, making piles of money, and working yourself into an early grave?”

Fuck, I couldn’t deny that I loved Abbie. I don’t know when it started. It could have been how adorable she’d been at Anime Expo or how sweet she was during lazy mornings in my bed, her insecurities melting away one by one. Hell, it could have been that first day at the park when I’d been drawn to her by a force like nothing I’d ever felt.

“Oh god. I’ve fucked up so badly.” I brought my hands up to rub my face.

“Yeah, you did, big brother.” I didn’t need to see Claire to hear the smile in her voice. She couldn’t resist a little bit of gloating when she was right.

A light tug on my sleeve had my hands falling back to my lap.

“Aiden, it matters what you do now. Are you going to let that young woman keep on thinking that you’d choose your job over her?” my mom asked.

Christ, I needed a drink. Or ten. Anything to ease the gut-wrenching shame and regret sinking into every cell in my body.

“I’m going to make it right. I have to.”

I needed to get back to Amado and fix this disaster I’d created.

I prayed it wasn’t too late.

I’d left LA on the red-eye once Rennie was discharged just hours later. In truth, I’d probably stayed longer than I needed to. I was kicking myself for my knee-jerk reaction to Jack’s call.

Arriving home to my empty house only served to amplify the consequences of my decision. It had seemed simple while riding the waves of anxiety over Rennie, hooked up to fluids and wires, to make a snap decision when Jack had given me the news that my relationship with Abbie had become public knowledge.

I’d been so wrapped up in my own fears that I’d been paralyzed to make any decision other than robotically telling Jack that I’d end things with Abbie immediately.

Alone in my bedroom, I dumped my suitcase inside the door as I looked around the room, expecting to see my bed in disarray from the night I’d left Abbie standing beside it. Instead, it was freshly made, my cleaning service obviously having come sometime while I was away.

There was no evidence of Abbie anywhere. Her absence hit me that hard, coming face-to-face with the loss of her kind spirit and how much she lit up this too-big house.

She was really gone, and it was all my fault.

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