Page 64 of Back On Ice

I should be sleeping. Instead, I’m laying in bed with my phone open, rereading the first text he sent me after I drove away from the rink's parking lot in a rage.

Carter: I’ve already told Nicole to GTFO of Ivy Glen or I’m getting a restraining order. I’ve also blocked her number. You need to know, my heart has always belonged to you, Soph.

The words had done nothing to soothe my anger at the time, but now I look to them for comfort, rereading the last eight words like they’re the air I need to breathe

My heart has always belonged to you, Soph.

And I haven’t seen Nicole since that day. Something tells me that if she were still in town, she’s the kind of woman who would rub it in my face.

I scroll through the rest of the messages. Sometimes it’s something useful like information on the rink construction, and sometimes it’s something completely random, like how he thought of me when he went to Sal’s for lunch. In one of his messages, the longest one he’s sent, he talks about how he’ll be back in August, and he’s planning on staying in Ivy Glen and making the forty-five minute commute to the Garden every day.

The day he left, it was radio silence, and has been since.

I know I told him I need time, and he’s respecting that. Which I appreciate.

I do, really.

It’s not like Icareif he texts me anyway.

Damn it, who am I kidding? I miss him. Terribly.

I hadn’t realized it at the time, but part of why I fought so hard to keep him out was the fact I was afraid of getting hurt again. The moment there was even a kernel of doubt, I pushed him away. Demanding space and ignoring his attempts to fix things.

And now… now that he gave me that space, I miss him.

Still, one thought keeps nagging me. What if heisn’tjust respecting my need for space? What if this all became too much for him, and he’s moving on?

That’s what keeps me from texting him and telling him that I want him to come back. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it if I were to reach out and get rejected.

It’s better to wait until he comes back. If he comes back.

I shake my head. No. He will come back. He has to…

My eyes catch the corner of my screen. Shit. It’s three in the morning. I shake my head and put my phone down on the nightstand. I’ll only get four and a half hours of sleep at this point and I’ve already been feeling more tired than usual.

Tossing and turning for hours after with thoughts of Carter plaguing my mind does nothing to help me feel rested, and by the time I blink my eyes open in the morning to the sound of my alarm, my stomach drops.

It’s nine thirty. It’s been going off for over an hour. I’ve slept straight through it.

The flower shop opens at nine and Kerry can’t make it in until noon.

Shit shitshit.

Scrambling out of bed, I don’t bother with a shower like I normally would, and have to double my deodorant to avoid any chance of B.O. and pull my hair into an unwashed, messy bun. Five minutes later, I’m hightailing it out of the driveway like my ass on fire and make it to the shop by nine fifty.

I don’t even want to think about how many customers I missed this morning. I can’t believe I overslept. Ineversleep in. But then I couldn’t sleep last night, and I started looking at Carter’s texts…

Sighing, I shake my head as I unlock the front door, making the little bell jingle. The sound grates on my nerves, as if it’sannouncing to everyone,“Hey guys! Sophie finally decided to show up to work!”

That might just be me though. Everything seems to set me off recently. This whole situation with Carter is really fucking with my emotions.

At least I don’t have to worry about the rinks or picking Jordan up. Twin Rinks closed for construction at the beginning of June, and with Tom off for the summer, he’s been able to take Jordan, Theo, and Bhodi to summer camp. I’ll have the house all to myself this weekend since Tom and Jordan are heading out on their annual father-son road trip. It’s left me with a lot of free time, but I’m not sure I like it. I’m so used to going, going, going, and this summer has left me alone with my thoughts way too frequently for my liking.

Once I settle behind the front counter for the day and open the register, I see a note from Kerry on the counter.

Sophie,

I’ve pre-arranged the orders for pick up today and they are in the fridge. The front windows have been cleaned, the back’s been swept, and all the shelves have been dusted.

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