Page 63 of Back On Ice

Relief fills me at his words. I’m not some side chick, stealing someone else’s man. She just… texted him. “But if you didn’t ever date her, why is she showing up here, acting like she’s your girlfriend?” My words come out strained, and Carter’s face turns to one of regret.

I knew it, I knew it, I fuckingknewit.

Carter winces, running a hand through his hair. “Once…” At my scoff, he quickly puts his hands up and walks closer to me. “I slept with her one time, sophomore year. But I was drunk, and lonely, and I knew you and I were over, which devastated me. It was a mistake, nothing more.”

“Do you realize you’re telling me not to worry about the girl who not only had her mouth all over you in photos while we were still together, but also fucking slept with you when you hadn’t even given me the courtesy of an official break-up call?” The words are cold coming out, and I know that it’s not the whole story, but my heart is cracking every second this conversation goes on.

“We weren’t together though,” Carter pleads, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “Tom told me you had moved on.”

“I deserved to hear it from you, Carter! You owed me closure after everything! I know your dad said not to contact me, but don’t try to tell me he wouldn’t have at least let you call to end things, with how much he hates me.”

“I was scared!” he shouts. “I didn’t want to say goodbye. I couldn’t bear it. I kept thinking that I would find a way for us to work out. But the more time that passed by, the harder it got. By the time I finally had an opportunity to reach out and explain, I was afraid it had been too long for a phone conversation. So I came back.”

My head shakes. No. He came back for the twin rinks project. For the PR.

His voice holds steady as he tries to get me to meet his eyes. “I didn’t come back for PR, or for the rinks. Not even for Tom. Do you think I would have wanted to put one foot in this town if you weren’t in it? This whole time, I came back foryou. Because I love you, Sophie, and I never stopped.”

It doesn’t add up. Nothing makes sense. How can he say he never stopped loving me but then keep secrets from me like this? He let me believe nothing happened with Nicole until I pushed the issue. Is he just saying he came back for me so I forgive him?

“I…” My voice chokes out, and I shake my head. “I need time. Is this going to keep happening? How many more women are going to show up in my flower shop claiming to be in a relationship with you? Everyone you’ve ever slept with?”

“What?” he asks indignantly, “That’s not going to happen, Soph.”

“Did you think it would happen this time?” I counter, matching his ire, “I just don’t think I can handle it if women keep crawling out of the woodwork claiming they’re your girlfriend.”

“Like I said, that’s not going to happen. Nicole is nuts. There has been no one. No one special. No one of any meaning. There’s only ever been you. ” He sighs, rubbing a hand on the back of hishead. “Listen. I wanted to surprise you, but… I’m going to sign with Boston, Soph. I want you. I want to build a life here in Ivy Glen with you.”

My head shakes. “What? Build a life…? Carter, I don’t even know if I can trust you right now.” Does he think that staying in Ivy Glen will just magically fix the damage from the bomb that went off when I saw Nicole’s texts this morning?

“God, Sophie!” His frustration bubbling to the surface. “What the fuck else am I supposed to do on top of everything else I’ve done since I got here to show you how serious I am?”

Right now, I don’t have an answer. I’m not sure anything can fix this.

My arms cross, and my tone turns icy. “I understand why you left back then, Carter. I forgave you and accepted all the years we lost. But forgetting? Trusting you again? That’s not so easy. Iknowwhy you stopped calling. It was a choice you made because it was too hard to say goodbye. But do you know where I was while you were putting off giving me closure? I was crying myself to sleep at night, wondering where I went wrong. Asking myself why I wasn’t enough for you. Questioning if what we had was evenreal.” I let out a shuddering breath. “I get it. I do. But it doesn’t erase the years of self doubt. And it sure as hell doesn’t make the pain go away. You didn’t just break our relationship when you walked away… you brokeme. I’m not the same Sophie anymore. And right now, I’m finding it really hard to brush it all away, just because you say so. ” My head shakes as I take a step back. “I need some time to think.”

I would have been ecstatic if I had this information twenty-four hours ago. But now? I can’t even think about it.

His face falls. “You’re right. Fuck, Sophie, I’m so fucking sorry. I wish I could change the past. Take back the mistakes I made that cost me you. But I can’t. Have your time. I’ll get rid of Nicole, I promise. She’s fucking insane and means nothing. Youcan even ask Jake. But just so you know, I’m leaving for team building camp in two weeks. It’s a requirement of the contract.”

His words echo in my mind as we part ways, driving opposite directions as we leave the rink.

He’s staying in town. He says it’s for me.

But how can I get myself to believe him when it feels like history is about to repeat itself all over again?

Chapter Twenty Six

SOPHIE

June passes in a blur.In the two weeks before Carter left, my phone pinged at least once a day with a message from him. First, explaining further the situation with Nicole, how she’s been to almost every game and always tries to get his attention. How he’s never indulged her except the night of the “worst drunken mistake of my life”.

I had to laugh at that.

Then he was updating me on communications from the contractor, letting me know the exact dates he’ll be gone for summer training camp.

Now it’s the beginning of July, and I’m definitelynotcounting down the days until he gets back.

Nope. Not me. Just like I haven’t been obsessively rereading the texts he sent me before he left.

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