Page 73 of Back On Ice

Shutting the car door behind me, my fingers grip the steering wheel as I breathe for the first time since I saw him yesterday. Motion from behind the window next to Dad’s door catches my attention. A curtain moving, then Dad’s snide face looks at me before disappearing entirely.

My stomach sinks. It dawns on me—he thinks he’s won.

Of course he does. There’s absolutely nothing that can make him keep his word to stay away. The bastard’s said what he felt he had to for now, so I’d give him the money without a fuss.

I pull away from the motel, driving back towards town. The pit in my stomach returns as I realizenothingwill ever be enough to keep him away for good.

Chapter Thirty

CARTER

“Carter, sweetie, I missed you!”Mom wraps her arms around me before I can take her luggage and put it in the trunk. My car is parked along the curb at the airport, the area filled with the sounds of people reuniting with their loved ones after being away.

“I missed you too, Mom.” I press a kiss to her hair before lobbing her bags into the car and shutting the door.

After leaving Dad, I drove around aimlessly, my mind running in circles. What if he doesn’t actually leave? I have nothing to force him to hold on to his end of the bargain.

My only consolation is that he doesn’t seem to know about Sophie and me yet. If he did, he would have threatened her as well. He probably only arrived in the last couple of days, and if I get him the money, he’ll be able to take off like he was never here.

What then, though? Do I tell Mom he came back so she can constantly live in fear again? What about Sophie and the baby? A part of me hoped that if I figured out how to get rid of him, Icould stay. But, he won’t be gone forever and will continue using any leverage he can against me. Maybe I should still leave. If he never finds out Sophie’s child is mine, I’ll be able to keep both of them out of this. Keep them safe. Yet the idea of leaving them behind, never being in my child’s life, is gut wrenching.

She rambles excitedly as I pull onto the highway to get back to Ivy Glen, filling me in on all the details of her stay. My shoulders relax when she doesn’t sense anything is wrong. “I got all my girls’ phone numbers so we can keep in touch.” She smiles proudly. “Evelyn, the one who was in the room next to mine, she works as a librarian in Willow Creek! We can get together all the time.”

“That’s great, Mom.” My grin is genuine. It’s been so long since I’ve seen her so happy.

“It was everything I didn’t know I needed, Carter. We went on hikes nearly every day and—oh my, the spa! So incredibly relaxing. You can gift me a spa visit for Mother’s Day next year.” She winks. “And every year after that.”

She tells me about the small group sessions and workshops, as well as the one-on-one therapy every attendee received twice a week.

She seems so happy and full of life, I see no reason to bring up Dad. As long as I get him the money, she doesn’t need to know... I don’t want to bring her back down to where she was before she left.

We pull up to the house and I shudder at the memory of Dad trying to get in. It’s fine. He’ll be gone by the end of the week.

“I got it, Mom.” I pull her bags out of the trunk and take them to the front door as she unlocks it. Fuck, I am exhausted. The thought of going back to my hotel and crashing the rest of the day sounds like heaven at this point. Guilt churns in my gut. I should really go see Sophie, but what if I end up leaving? What will I say to her?

Once she gets the door open and takes one of her bags inside, I follow, lugging the rest behind me. “Do you need me to take them upstairs?”

“Oh, no I can do that.” She waves me off. “It’s good to be home, isn’t it?”

Home. Sophie’s face flashes in my mind at the word, and I do my best not to buckle under the grief leaving them will cause me.

“If you don’t need any help, I think I’m going to take off. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks, and I could use some sleep.” My tone is apologetic, but before I can move back out the door, Mom grabs my arm.

“Wait,” she says, her eyes shining with… excitement? “Can I show you something first?” She starts going through her luggage in search of something. Whatever this is, it must be important, so I walk the few steps into the living room and make myself comfortable on the couch.

“Here.” She comes over, placing a tablet in my hand. On it is what looks like the cover of a children's book, an illustration of a child laughing while riding a bike. The words on the image read, “Little Carter Joins the Race”.

…What?

I scroll to the next image, this time the illustration is of a little girl tying ice skates. “Little Sophie Takes the Ice”.

“Mom… what is this?” I ask as I continue scrolling, each title with the name of someone I know, Jordan, Tom, Jake…

She shrugs, looking at me with determination in her eyes. “Since you left for college, I know I’ve been too scared to even leave the house, but I’m tired of hiding, Carter. Of being afraid of what anyone thinks of me. This is what I’ve been doing in my spare time. For years, actually.” I stare at the image currently on the tablet. It’s an illustration of a little girl peeking out of the front door of her house with the title “Little Vivianne Faces the World”.

Mom moves closer to me, before reaching over and scrolling down on the tablet in my hands, instead swiping across like I was doing. That’s when realization dawns on me. These are stories. And this one, the one I’m looking at now, is about my mom. About Vivianne.

My eyes graze the first few paragraphs, and I can hear Mom’s voice in the words.

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