Page 67 of Relief Pitcher

“I’m not gonna give up. I’ve been telling myself to be patient for him, but I needed it for myself too. I never thought I would fall for the first person I had sex with after you, that’s for damn sure. Wasn’t I supposed to suffer through a long string of creeps and guys who ghost me before finding a mediocre relationship like everyone else?” I drummed my thumb against my leg. “Even if it doesn’t work out, I’ll always be grateful to Ty.”

I looked up at the tree canopy and squinted at the sunlight. “So, do I get your stamp of approval?”

After a tense silence, one crow called out. Then another and another until all I heard was a riotous cacophony of crows encouraging me. There was such beauty to the chaos of their call, like the beauty to the chaos of Aleck. I soaked up the momentary connection to him as much as his approval. It might be silly to think I was getting signs from birds, but it didn’t hurt anyone to believe it.

“Hi, Aleck.”

I was startled by Danita’s voice. She waved at the crows as she sat on a big rock to my right.

“Of course he couldn’t have picked a bird with a prettier call to become obsessed with. Why couldn’t he love bushtits? Those things are fucking adorable. Crows are worse than listening to an elementary class learning to play the recorder.”

A crow near the peanuts honked at her, and then a pile of bird shit landed next to her foot. She raised her hands in defeat.

“I mean, he had the best taste in birds. Crows are the superior bird. Only the coolest group of birds is called a murder. Can you stop threatening to shit on me now?”

I shook my head and laughed.

“Due for a talk?” she asked gently.

“Yeah.”

“If you want a human response, you can talk to me. I promise not to be snarky.”

I stared at her.

“Fine. Nottoosnarky.”

I stayed silent for a couple of minutes and appreciated that she didn’t push.

“Do you think it’s too soon?” I eventually asked.

“You’re asking moi? The woman who’s been threatening to sign you up with a matchmaker for over a year? No, I honestly don’t.”

“Do you think it’s disrespectful to his memory?”

She threw a rock at my leg. “He’d be pissed if he thought you were being some sort of heartache martyr. If you’re genuinely not ready, that’s one thing. But he’d hate to see you forcing yourself into some lonely existence to honor his memory.”

I inhaled a deep breath that rattled my bones and worked up the courage to look at her. She smiled at me.

“But you haven’t seemed lonely for a couple of months now.”

My cheeks heated. “You’re right.”

“I usually am. How’s it going with Tyler?”

“Good, I think.” She’d asked me about Ty several times, but I hadn’t fully opened up to her. I hadn’t even opened up to myself until recently.

“Youthink?”

“It’s complicated,” I said as I stared at a small bird bouncing between rocks next to the water.

“Then uncomplicate it for me.”

“He stayed over last night.”

“Yeah, boiii. Get it.”

That pulled a laugh out of me. “I don’t know if it’s going anywhere, but I want it to. I’m moving slow though. We both need it.”

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