Page 77 of Eternal Hoptimist

“As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters,” I managed. She didn’t need to know how devastated I was. I would get over it and support her as she’d always done for me.

“I am, sweetheart. This is what I want. I realized that in life, it’s more about our relationships and experiences than the crap we own. I’d rather keep my memories and make new ones than continue living in a mausoleum.”

A despondent whimper escaped my throat, and she clucked her tongue.

“I’m going to come see that brewery you built with that bastard’s money. I’m flying first class and drinking my weight in champagne!”

I managed a laugh despite the storm brewing within me. “Can’t wait.”

“All right. I’ve got to go to Bingo and kick Esther’s tush. You give that Parker a hug for me, okay?”

“Okay, Rosie.” I knew risking my heart would bite me in the ass. I hadn’t meant to fall for Parker, but I did, and now I was hurting as I knew I eventually would. Why does it hurt as bad even when I’m not the one who messed up?

CHAPTER 30

PARKER

“I can’t believe they didn’t go for your idea.” Austin frowned as he steered us through the back roads from McMinnville to Dahlia Springs.

I’d driven Ethan to work this morning and hung around the brewery since we were carpooling to Portland later. I was grateful Austin wanted to tag along on my lunch run since solo time with Ethan’s best friend seemed like a good idea.

I clutched the bag of food from Ethan’s favorite sandwich place. “Me neither. Well, that’s not true. I can, but I guess I’d hoped it would be different. I thought I’d appealed to practical things like tax benefits, grant support, their bottom line, and reduction to reputation damage.” The bitterness was clear in my voice.

My clients had no legal need to do anything I’d suggested, but Iwantedthem to take my advice. Not to inflate my ego, but because it was the right thing to do and a damn good idea. It benefited them while being the better option for the community.

If I hadn’t met Ethan, and subsequently Caleb, I probably wouldn’t have become so invested in the food truck owners’ plight. It became abundantly clear that my values weren’t aligning with the firm’s as much as they used to. At least my boss hadn’t been too pissed at me. He’d reminded me not to waste the client’s time while acknowledging initiative was a strong trait in a partner.

Once the new condos were built, it would become another feather in my cap toward becoming a leading commercial real estate and land use attorney in Portland. The more successful I became, the more high-profile projects I would land, and the more my dissatisfaction would grow with my job in a never-ending cycle of disappointment.

“I appreciate Caleb talking through things with me. I wish I had a better result for his friends.”

“I’m sure he does too, but I know he appreciates that you tried.” He glanced at me. “And don’t worry, he’s still gonna keep everything you talked about confidential.”

I blew out a grateful breath. The last thing I needed was word getting back to the food truck owners that the developers’ own attorney had offered an idea that would help them but was ultimately rejected. Talk about a PR nightmare.

I appreciated having people I could trust in Ethan and his family. I’d talked through ideas with Nate in the past, but it always bored him to tears. Going to colleagues carried its own risks, often outweighing any rewards in such a competitive environment. Ethan’s crew seemed invested, and best of all, theycared.

Their confidentiality meant a lot to me. I didn’t need anything to blow up in my face hours away from likely being made partner. Starting my new job with the other partners pissed at me for being at the center of a PR issue would be a terrible impression.

After a brief, comfortable silence, Austin cleared his throat. “It’s good to see Ethan so happy.”

I shifted in my seat as I braced myself for his incoming speech. The “Ethan seems happy, but you work too much, and I’m worried,” or “Ethan seems happy, but I know you’re gonna break his heart so let him down easy,” or “Ethan’s too good for you, he could do so much better than some corporate sell-out lawyer” speech.

“You’re good for him. He’s been happy in his own skin for the first time in a long time and deserves someone who appreciates him for who he is.” Austin glanced at me and smiled briefly before returning his attention to the road.

“This isn’t an ‘if you hurt him, I know people who will do terrible things’ talk?”

Austin laughed. “I do, but I didn’t think I needed to say it. You know who my dad is, right? He knows a lot of people, and he really likes Ethan.”

Ethan had previously briefed me on Austin’s contentious relationship with his celebrity chef father and that his parents were working on mending their relationship with him. “I’m sure he’s got some decent knife skills and could debone a mammal easily. I’d rather not risk being served with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

Austin’s loud laugh filled the car. “I like you. I’m glad Ethan isn’t dating someone who’s taking advantage of him. That’s happened too many times.”

“I’m doing everything in my power to make him happy.” Even things outside of it. I couldn’t control Rosie’s situation, but everything I did for her was to help him too.

But was I doing everything to make him happy? I still had a job that would keep me from him far too often. Hell, our opposite schedules had already caused complications in the past couple of weeks. I’d been so exhausted from long workdays that I’d fallen asleep three times before our planned video chats after Ethan got home from work.

My stress level climbed higher each month, and I would bet my condo that it would get worse once I was promoted to partner. I already struggled to unwind on evenings I wasn’t with Ethan. What would I do when work becameevenmorestressful? I didn’t have the type of job where I could turn my phone off at five o’clock and give Ethan my undivided attention for an evening. Our firm promised clients a level of service that meant I had to check emails until bedtime and work on weekends and holidays.

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