Page 40 of Eternal Hoptimist

Depending on how the night went, we might not even do this again. As I tried to remind myself that we might not be sexually compatible, the other part of my brain dismissed the absurd thought. I was hopelessly attracted to Ethan. Even the thought of his kiss on New Year’s Eve sent heat rushing to my groin.The way he’d been talking to me about kink stuff all week sent it into overdrive. The teasing and subtle promises disguised as giving me options and research topics. Simply talking about sex with him had been better than most actual sex I’d had. Being that hot over text promised explosions when we finally got to touch. I subtly adjusted myself. He smirked and took a sip of water like he had nothing better to do—Me! I’m the better thing to do.Wasn’t his skin itching like mine?

“Should we…?” I pointed to the hallway leading to my bedroom.

Ethan’s grin could only be described as devious. He confidently strode over to the couch and sat. “Oh no, honey. We’re talking more.”

I groaned and followed. Having conversations over text was much easier than in person. My discomfort transported me back to being a bumbling virgin who’d discovered a copy of theJoy of Sexon the bookshelf of a friend’s house and snuck to flip through it in the middle of the night. I followed him to the couch and angled my body to face him.

I’m a badass attorney. I’ve worked on some of the biggest real estate deals in the city. People have quaked in my presence. I can have sex with a hot guy without freaking out.

Ethan took a leisurely drink of his water as he studied me. His gaze began at my socked feet, shifting up my legs, lingering on my lap as he deliberately licked his lips. He didn’t bother to make eye contact until he’d finished his visual inspection. Without touching me, he had me squirming on my couch.

“Is there anything specific we’ve talked about or researched that you want to try tonight?”

There were a million things I wanted to do with Ethan as I sat there next to him, admiring his tight body and letting his incredible scent invade my senses. But a specific thing? Impossible to choose.“Everything.”

Ethan laughed. “I think tonight we’ll go easy and get used to each other and each other’s bodies. That’ll make it easier to try more next time.”

“Next time?” The words spilled from my mouth, sounding far too hopeful for a casual arrangement.

“I said this is a kink 101course, not an afternoon seminar, Parker.”

The way he said my name sent heat licking up my spine. Assertive, a whisper of scolding, and full of promise.

“I also said we can stop anytime. You’re under no obligation, but if you want to continue after this, we will.”

I swallowed and nodded. While swimming out of my depth, he was my buoy. I’d had plenty of sex, hookups, boyfriends, relationships, but something about being there with Ethan and him knowing my deepest desires gave me a freedom I’d yet to experience.

At work, I needed to be in constant control. I had to strategize, plan, lead, and decide.Endlessdecisions. With Ethan, I didn’t need to make all the decisions, and I wanted to experience sex without that responsibility. At least once. Through his questions and gentle guidance, his focus on my pleasure and interests, I relaxed into the twisty whirl in my stomach. And I liked it—I liked Ethan—I felt safe with him. I wasn’t sure what cosmic lottery I’d won to have Ethan as my kink professor, but I wouldn’t take a single moment for granted.

CHAPTER 14

ETHAN

Parker shook out his hands. It was sweet. He didn’t strike me as the type of person to be intimidated by anything, let alone sex, but I understood his nerves given his exploration desires. It was my job to put him at ease, and I never failed at a job.

I’d had relationships with people on the newer side of kink, but they often knew what they wanted to explore. Parker was a blank canvas.

I didn’t want to jump into anything too intense for our first time because he’d made it clear that part of the reason he hadn’t pursued his interest was because he wanted to trust the person. We’d been building that trust, but I also wanted to build comfort. Familiarity. At least physically. Chemistry sure as hell wasn’t an issue.

I slid my hands across Parker’s neck until my fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him toward me until our lips met. It wasn’t the same as our New Year’s Eve kiss. That was unexpected, a little desperate, and a lot of seizing the moment. This kiss held the promise of more kisses—even if theymeantnothing beyond enjoying each other’s bodies.

The needy sounds he made in the back of his throat while cupping my side and gripping my shirt sent my blood rushing south. The longer we kissed, the tighter his grip became until I expected a permanent stretch in my favorite shirt.Worth it.

I broke apart from him and took a moment to admire his flushed cheeks and heavy-lidded eyes as I planned my next move. The usual flutter at the base of my spine when I got that feeling—the one that guided me on how to make someone lose themselves to pleasure—went wild.This is gonna be fun.

I pushed on his shoulders until he relaxed, and then I climbed on his lap and devoured his mouth, swallowing Parker’s keening whimper as I pressed myself against him chest-to-chest, stomach-to-stomach, groin-to-groin. He wrapped his arms around my waist and tucked his hands into my back pockets, locking me in his grasp.

I ground my hips against his, making him moan. Dry humping on his couch wasn’t what I had in mind, but why question a great fucking time. For once, I wasn’t focused on performing well with someone new to keep them coming back for more. I only cared about giving Parker the comfort and safety to pursue his desires.Being charitable is hard work, but someone’s gotta do it.

I pulled back, breathing hard. “Bedroom?”

“Best idea you’ve had all day.”

I climbed off him and pulled him to his feet. He shamelessly adjusted himself while holding my stare. The constant volley of his confidence and shyness already had me addicted. He sure as hell was comfortable in his body, which was half the battle. All I needed to figure out was what his body enjoyed.

As I eagerly pulled him to the bedroom, he let out a loud and happy laugh. “Loving the enthusiasm.”

“You’re about to love it a lot more.” I smirked at his sharp intake of breath.

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