Page 39 of Eternal Hoptimist

Parker:No.If I can’t take a sick day for being sick of my assistant’s shit, then you can’t take one for that

Hector:Sigh. At least we can suffer together. And I’ll suffer graciously with one of those yummy breakfast sandwiches from the cute café near where your meeting is in the morning [angel emoji]

* * *

I glanced at my steel wall clock for the dozenth time in the last hour. Pointless since Ethan already texted to let me know he would be late.

Finding a time to meet hadn’t been easy. He was off on Mondays, but that was usually my busiest day of the week. With him working at the brewery late into the evening six days a week, my long days, and living an hour apart—we’d struggled to find a time to…kick things off.

Since agreeing to his surprising offer last weekend, we’d spent the week texting even more frequently. After last Sunday’s discussion turned to light sexting, a few of our other conversations had gone in the same direction.

I couldn’t remember the last time I was this nervous about having sex with someone. Probably not since my teenage years while blowing through some firsts, coming too soon, and figuring myself out. My knee bounced so hard it might take flight.

I definitely hadn’t talked about sex so much before. Despite our conversations, the arrangement had an abrupt air about it. I dismissed the urge to insist on dinner first because that would violate Ethan’s no-dating boundaries. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, especially with all he was doing for me.

I got the better end of the deal. A gorgeous, kind man helping me make my careerandsex dreams come true in exchange for some legal work? I couldn’t have dreamed up a better arrangement.

Hands trembling, I glanced around my living room once more to make sure it was decent. My weekly cleaner had visited only two days ago, and I’d freshened up my home and body until both were squeaky clean. I’d even washed bedding and bought new condoms and a bottle of lube just in case, even though I had no idea what we were going to do.

I’d eaten pineapple at breakfast for the last two days to ensure things werepleasant. Jesus.I wasn't even this bad as a teen.

I’d had plenty of sex in my life, but our deal left me more nervous than any other sexual first. This time, I knew how much I didn’t know.

I forced those thoughts away because Ethan made me comfortable. Comfortable enough to finally pursue the thing I’d been curious about for years. Comfortable enough to ask him for it when I never could with exes.

Time for a distraction.I sat on the couch and played solitaire on my phone to eat away the minutes. After restarting a game for the fourth time, my phone buzzed with a text from Ethan saying he’d parked. I told security to send him up, then stared at my door—drumming my fingers against my thigh like I was trying to say “hurry up” in Morse Code—until the knock came.

I hurried to the door and sucked in a breath when I opened it. Ethan’s dark-blue Henley and jeans fit him like a glove. His woodsy cologne smelled delicious as he moved in for a lingering hug.

“Hey.” My voice cracked.Smooth, Parker.

Hugging him like an old friend while knowing we’d be touching dicks soon made me awkward in a way casual sex with a stranger didn’t.I can do this. Embrace the no-strings sex with a guy I know and like. It’ll be fine. Maybe even better.

Ethan squeezed both of my arms as he pulled back. “Hey. Sorry I’m late.”

“It’s no problem at all.” I gestured for him to come in and closed the door behind him. I frowned at his lack of an overnight bag, even though I knew to expect it. It was a kink 101 lesson, not a sleepover.

“Can I get you anything to drink? Water?” I knew not to offer alcohol because he’d been very clear about the importance of remaining sober, which I appreciated. Though a couple of drinks might help my nerves.

“Sure, thanks.”

I didn’t miss how he gave me a once-over. I’d debated on what to wear and was glad I’d gone with jeans that showed off my long legs and a deep V-neck. I figured showing some skin wouldn’t hurt.

We stood in my kitchen, leaning against counters across from each other and sipping our water. I crossed one leg in front of the other and then uncrossed it. “How was traffic?”

He smiled wryly. “That Sunday evening rush hour of people returning from a warm January weekend at the coast? Traffic was fine. It took a while because my meeting with the guys ran long, and they were giving me shit about leaving.”

I frowned. “Were you supposed to stay there?”

He studied the fruit bowl on my kitchen island. “We usually hang out on Sunday nights after our team meeting. I haven’t told them about this.” He gave me a look I couldn’t decipher.

I wasn’t sure whether I should be relieved he hadn’t shared or hurt. I frowned.

He shouldn’t leave his friends to do this for me. It wasn’t supposed to impact his life in any way other than driving to Portland since we agreed my place was best for privacy. Ethan wasn’t supposed to inconveniencehimselffor it. I wanted Ethan exactly as he was. I didn’t want him to do anything he thought I wanted.

I straightened. “Our deal isn’t supposed to affect your life. Please don’t skip spending time with your friends for this. I don’t want to be the reason you miss out on time with them, especially with how little time you all get together. I’d rather go out there and rent a hotel room in McMinnville than you lose your Sunday nights together.”

Ethan stared at me like I’d busted out a unicycle and done cartwheels on the seat. His smile was bigger than my student loan debt and much more pleasing to look at. “Yeah, okay. Thank you.”

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