Page 59 of After Tonight

In the next second, Riley realized that wasn’t true at all. She’d cared. She just hadn’t worried. There was something about Derek, about him always being there, about him being such a solid fixture in her life, that she’d never worried about him getting offended or sick of her. She could be herself, tell him what she thought, do her own thing even knowing he’d tease her, because she knew he’d always be there. Even when she didn’t think she wanted him to be.

She needed a guy like that.

That realization hit hard and direct. She wanted to be able to do her own thing, do things differently, try new stuff, take a few risks, and she needed someone who would be honest with her—not critical like her mom, but just honest—and who would encourage her to try those things, and be there even when she made the wrong choice or did something stupid. She needed the freedom to be herself that came from knowing there was someone—or multiple someones—who’d be there anyway.

And Derek was one of those people.

He was maybe the main person. Based on tonight, when he was the one to point out that those things could also be kind of great.

“You can keep telling me when I’m being a brat,” she told him. Then she started to lean in, because she really did want to screw his brains out.

“Hang on.” He put a hand up—right on her forehead, keeping her from moving closer.

She frowned and sat back. “What?”

“When you come over here, you need to have lost the pants,” he said, pointing at her jeans.

Oh, that was easy. She started to unbutton.

“And,” he added, “I have one more thing to say first.”

She sighed and paused with her zipper halfway down. “What?”

“I stuck up for you tonight because you needed it, and everything I said was true and I wanted your family to hear me say it.”

She waited, hearing a “but” coming.

“But,” he went on, “I will also say to you that your brother is a great guy. One of the best. He might be a little uptight about schedules and things, but he never stops. He never stops caring and working and wondering what else he could do. And I don’t like the idea that your sole purpose in life is to be the opposite of him.”

She stared at Derek. Okay, she knew the annoying tease, the cocky flirt, the sweet friend sides of him. But she wasn’t sure she’d seen the staunch defender before. First for her, and now to her.

“I know Kyle is a great guy.”

“I know you do.”

“But you want me to be nicer to him? More respectful? What?”

“Yes. I mean, basically all of that. You don’t need to be the opposite of him in every way,” Derek said.

Riley took a breath. Fair enough. “You think I’m insulting him somehow?”

“I think you used to,” Derek said. “But no, that’s not what I mean. I think you’re missing out on some of the ways for you to be happy and even more amazing just because you’re so determined to not follow in his footsteps.”

Riley just looked at him. Wow. Derek really did know her. And he got her family dynamic. And he was willing and able to be fully honest with her. And he wanted her to be… She frowned.

“Why does this all matter to you?”

He frowned back. “Really?”

“I’m just wondering. You seem to want to fix some things for me. Why does it matter to you?”

“Jesus, Riley,” he said, clearly annoyed. “You don’t know?”

“Just tell me.”

“Because I care about you. I want you to be happy. And I think you’ll be happy if you can really throw yourself into the advocacy stuff and the computer work for the task force, and if you can come to a place where you and your mom can talk about all of it without you getting defensive.”

Her breath caught in her throat. She licked her lips. Then she asked a question that she already knew the answer to but wanted to hear out loud. “Because you want me to change? You want me to give up some of the rebellion and be more like everyone else in Sapphire Falls.”

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