Page 77 of Lose You to Find Me

My neighbor chuckles. “Learning how to cook. I can teach you a thing or two. Annemarie house-trained me a long time ago, so I can fend for myself just fine and pass down a few essentials to you.”

I unclench my jaw and take a silent breath to release the tightness in my lungs. He’d really want to do that? “I’d like that. A lot, actually.”

The second he sees the look on my face, he shakes his head. “Don’t get sappy on me. You look like you could use somebody on your side right now. Can’t pretend to be your father, but I can be your friend. I might be a grumpy bastard, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy these little outings.”

My smile eases some of the weight in my chest that keeps trying to pull me under. “I’m glad I don’t annoy you with my questions.”

Leon huffs, taking a sip of his tea. “Oh, you do. But it gets me thinking about what life used to be when the missus was around, so I can’t complain. Much.”

I laugh under my breath because he complains all the time. But I like it. It makes him real.

“Now, what would you like to discuss for your assignment today? I can tell you about the time Annemarie stormed out of the house after I accidentally ran over her prized rose bushes. Took me two hours of searching to find her, and instead of yelling, she kissed me and told me that I owed her new flowers.”

I crack a smile. “Did you get her some?”

His eyes lighten. “Every single year, I bring a bouquet of homegrown roses from the bushes I planted for her to her grave.”

Wow.In that moment, I know that that’s the kind of love I want someday. The forever kind no matter the circumstances, even though it won’t be with Caleb.

*

I wake upin the middle of the night covered in sweat and curled up with a pillow pressed against my stomach. Groaning when I sit up, I wince at the stabbing pain in my lower abdomen and close my eyes to try breathing through the wave of nausea that comes with it.

It’s too much.

“Mom?” I cry out, causing Sigmund’s head to pop up from where he’s sleeping at the foot of my bed. He lets out a little whine when I toss my legs over the side of the bed, attempting to stand despite the dizziness blurring my vision.

Sigmund is on high alert when I stumble, catching myself on the wall and knocking off one of the frames that was hanging there, the glass breaking when it hits the floor.

“Mom?” I call out again, looking down at the shattered picture of me and Caleb from prom that’s lying on the floor.

Why isn’t she answering?

I glance at the time and realize it’s the middle of the night. Not even three yet. Either Mom is sleeping, or she never came home.

The first tear falls as I shuffle down the hallway toward Mom’s room. When I push the cracked door open and see the empty bed, I frown and nearly double over when the sharp feeling becomes tenfold.

I’m barely able to see past the tears by the time I make it back to my room and reach for my phone on the nightstand. I get as far as unlocking the screen and pulling up my contacts to call Mom when the dizziness returns.

Except this time I don’t catch myself.

Fingers grazing the screen, I hit the floor.

I have a strange dream, one where the pain almost feels normal when I hear dream Caleb pick me up and tell me it’s going to be okay.

And because it’s not real, I let myself believe it. I sink into his arms and soak up the warmth he gives me and listen to the soft-spoken promises whispered against the top of my head.

“It’ll be okay, baby,” he tells me.

There’s air on my face. Cold but welcoming on my clammy skin.

“I’ve got you.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

CALEB

Ihate thisplace. I hate the smell of antiseptic and medicine, the sounds of the equipment and families talking, and feeling suffocated by the other patients and staff lingering. If I never have to be at this damn hospital again, it’ll be too soon.

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