Page 78 of Lose You to Find Me

When I woke up to Raine calling, I debated ignoring it. But my gut told me to pick up because she never called this early. Not even when we were dating.

Now I’m here, standing outside her curtained-off room in the emergency room.

Again.

Do I want to be here? No. Did it nearly break me when I saw Raine on the floor of her bedroom, bleeding? There were no words to describe the utter panic I felt thinking she was gone. The moment I sank down beside her, I had no idea what I’d find.

The thought of losing her physically destroyed me, regardless of what she did in the past. I’m not sure how to feel about that. Because I want nothing more than to cut ties with the girl sprawled on the hospital bed under the heated blanket the nurse gave her.

I want it to be over.

I want to forget her.

To move on.

But one look at her pale face, and that stupid fucking invisible string that attached us at fifteen was back, wrapping us together all over again. When would it end?

“Caleb?”

Head snapping up, I straighten when I see Emma’s pinched brows. Of course she’d be working an overnight. We haven’t spoken since I paid for Raine’s dog. I told her I was sorry, she told me she knew, and that was it. She didn’t accept my apology, and I didn’t blame her.

“Is your dad okay?” she asks, genuine concern all over her face. I know she cares about him because they spent a lot of time together. Dad always struck up conversations with her whenever she came to check on him and sneak him food or snacks so he wouldn’t have to eat the garbage that the hospital served.

She didn’t do it for me or because we were seeing each other. It was because she was a good person. Innocent. Loyal.

I glance back at Raine to see her still resting her eyes while the IV gives her fluids. The doctor hasn’t been in to see her yet, but a few nurses have come and gone to make sure she’s comfortable while she waits.

Walking over to Emma, I say, “I’m not here with him. He’s at home.”

Those haunting gray eyes move to the room behind me before nodding in understanding. “Is she okay?”

I lift a shoulder. “I’m not sure, but I’m sure she will be.”

Emma shifts on her feet. “Good.”

We’re silently standing and staring at each other while people walk around us.

“How are y—”

“Were you with her?” she asks at the same time as I start my question.

My head shakes. “No. I was sleeping.” Another pause. “Alone.”

I don’t know if it’s relief or something else that floods her face. But she says, “But she called you and you came.”

All I can do is nod. “Yes.”

Once again, those eyes move away from me. This time in a different direction than Raine’s room. “I’m glad she has you.”

Those words sink in, weighing me down. I could tell her it isn’t like that, but isn’t it? It’s obvious I’m still there for Raine even if she may not deserve it.

So I choose not to say anything at all.

Emma squeezes my arm and lets go, backing toward the nurse’s station. “Take care of yourself, Caleb.”

I know that’s goodbye, so I return the sentiment and walk back into Raine’s room to find her awake.

All the redhead lying there pricked by needles says is “She’s nice.”

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