Page 18 of Silent Desires

I’ve seen a few teen movies, and the locker room always seems to be the place where trouble happens.

“Just as I thought,” Tucker says, noticing my body language. “You’d probably prefer using the bathroom to change. There’s one right here.” He points to a door in his office. “Change there and leave your clothes inside to change back afterward. Nobody else will use it. I’m going to head into the gym. You come out when you’re ready and sit yourself on one of the mats laid out there, alright?”

I nod, thankful that he was letting me change somewhere safe.

“We’ll be doing some other activities after yoga, but I’ll make sure you understand each of them. I won’t let you get overwhelmed. Just give me that double tap if you need anything, alright?”

I nod again, surprised he knew that gym class was new to me. Although Mr. Hargrove did say he told all my teachers about mycondition.

“Alright, get going then.” He hands me the gym clothes and motions to the bathroom. I give him a small smile, trying to avoid eye contact as I take the clothes and close myself in the bathroom.

I change into the long black pants and black sweater as they cover the most skin. They fit me well, and when I exit the bathroom, I find a pair of white sneakers right outside the door. I sigh in relief—I hadn’t even thought about how I couldn’t wear my dress shoes. Tucker must have put them here for me.

I put them on, happy to see they fit perfectly, and head into the gym. There are only a couple of students here now, so thankfully my nerves don’t get too high. I see the mats Tucker referred to and choose one at the very end, away from the locker room doors and other students. Tucker glances up and smiles when he sees me. I notice he’s removed his flannel shirt. His t-shirt hugs his frame, putting his muscular chest on display and I try not to stare, but it’s hard. He’s really good-looking, especially for a teacher.

I try to avoid watching him as students come in and talk to him. They seem to like him, he’s friendly and seems to treat everyone with respect. My heart warms a little as I notice he keeps glancing over to check on me. Is he worried about me?

As it gets busier, I start to pay attention to the students around me and notice all the mats are occupied now. I realize I should have chosen a mat at the back instead of the front, but it’s too late now. I try not to make eye contact with anyone but a voice pipes up despite my best efforts at staying invisible.

“Hey, are you new?” a male student behind me asks. I turn my head slightly and nod when I see the boy looking at me expectantly. He has shaggy brown hair and seems so much younger than the twins.

“What’s your name?” he asks.

Oh, great. This is going to get awkward. I break eye contact and look around, noticing the other students watching us. I have no idea what to do so I do nothing, turning backto the front.

“Hey, don’t be rude. He asked you a question,” another male voice says. This one comes from the boy beside the first one, who seems a bit bigger and has really short dark brown hair.

“You too good to talk to us?” the first guy asks, starting to sound upset.

“What a bitch! At least she’s nice to look at from behind though. Come to think of it, I might prefer a girl who’s quiet, anyway. Seen and not heard, right, man?” the second says with a laugh, and the first boy bursts out laughing.

I look down at my hands and notice I’m frantically tapping my fingers against the back of my other hand. This was no double tap, this was getting close to full on panic.

“Reynolds, you know better than to speak in such a disrespectful way.”

I look up and watch Tucker move to stand behind me, arms crossed, glaring at the two boys behind me as he places himself between us.

“We were just trying to say hi, and she was being rude, ignoring us!” the first boy complains.

“Mina is a new student here and is mute, so she can’t speak to you. You can ask her yes-or-no questions, but don’t assume someone is being rude just because they don’t respond. What if she were deaf and didn’t hear you? Next time, be respectful. You two can run laps around the gym until we’re done with yoga.”

They grumble, apologize, then get up and start running around the gym. Tucker looks down at me. “Are you doing okay?”

I nod, feeling my racing heart start to settle. He nods back, moves to the front of the class, and gets everyone’s attention to start class.

He spends the next twenty minutes leading us in a yoga routine, which turns out to be an activity where you hold your body in the mostuncomfortable positions possible. The worst part is how it pulls on my stomach and arm injuries, no matter the position. I’m not going to lie, though—watching Tucker bend over again and again isn’t the worst way to spend a class. No, that honor is saved for our next activity: drills.

We have to run back and forth across the gym, going a bit further each time before a beep chimes, making us have to speed up or we’re out. I make it through only two rounds. I hear snickers and laughs when I’m eliminated and have to sit on the sidelines. I feel even worse when the next person doesn’t get out until eight rounds later. I knew my stamina was rough, but this is just embarrassing.

Luckily, after that, we do what Tucker calls cool-down exercises, which are a series of stretches. That’s my favorite part of the class—well, second to watching Tucker do yoga.

When class is dismissed, I quickly head back to his office. I have ten minutes before the end of the school day, so I need to be quick. I notice his bathroom has a shower and eye it jealously. I wonder what that would feel like, I’d give almost anything to have a real shower.

Instead, I get dressed quickly and am relieved to see nobody in the office when I leave. I grab my bag and slip out the side door to avoid Tucker and the twins. I don’t want to get held up, and I have a feeling they wouldn’t let me walk home. I also don’t want them knowing where I live—I’m afraid they’d just show up. My mother would lose it if that ever happened. I’d probably never leave the basement again.

As I leave the school property and head down the sidewalk, I know I’ll make it on time today, and I let out a deep breath of relief.

Chapter ten

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