Page 11 of Ruck Me

Chapter4

AOIFE

I wasn’tsure if it was possible to have a more frustrating two weeks than I’d experienced, and that was saying something since I lived with a woman who acted like I was the biggest mistake she’d ever made. So yeah, frustration and I were well acquainted, but this whole situation with Eoin? Dealing with my mam was a walk in the park compared tothat.

I was beginning to think it might have been easier to just have had sex with him than to endure all of his questions about my sex life—or lack thereof. To be fair, he’d been ready, willing, and able to take my virginity while I’d been the one who’d called the whole thing off, proposing this plan instead. I had no one to blame but myself for all of the awkward conversations that followed.

Still, a girl could only take so much humiliation before she forgot why she hadn’t chosen Plan A instead. At this point I couldn’t remember why rather than letting him do away with my pesky hymen, I’d asked him to teach me what guys liked instead. In hindsight, it wasn’t a very smartplan.

Moral of the story? I had the worst decision-making skills of anyone I knew and I couldn’t be trusted.

Since driving me home, Eoin and I had talked about how this was all going to play out. At least, we’d discussed it in theory. Because in reality, things were much more complicated than either of us had considered.

First of all, our schedules never synced up. When I was in class, he was free. When I was free, he was either at his school or practicing with the team. And those rare moments when our schedules did align—Tuesdays and Fridays at 9 a.m.—let’s just say finding a place where we could be alone was impossible. For obvious reasons, he couldn’t come out to Ballycurra and there was no way in hell I was going to show up at his place since his roommates knew my brother. And because these conversations had the potential to get … heated, we couldn’t meet in public either. I was pretty sure neither of us wanted anyone to overhear us discussing blowjobs.

More than once this week I’d told Eoin to just forget it, but for some strange reason my desire to call the whole thing off seemed to make him more committed to actually going through with our lessons. At first I wondered why, but then I realized he was afraid that if we didn’t, I’d call Kevin. And since Eoin cared more about that not happening than just about anything else, he was going to approach the situation like he did a difficult opponent: with steely determination and a desire to break down all barriers to success.

Why I was committed to seeing it through was something I didn’t want to examine too closely. I was positive the fact that I’d woken up sweaty and panting after dreaming about Eoin kissing me senseless had no bearing whatsoever on why I hadn’t been more forceful when I’d told him to just forget the whole fucking thing.

And now here I was, standing outside in the rain and staring up at the glowing windows of a third floor apartment in a red brick Georgian building a few minutes from my campus. Eoin had texted earlier in the day to say he was housesitting while his friend was in Spain on holiday. I didn’t know the guy, but right about now I’d gladly murder him with my own bare hands. Because up until this moment, everything we’d discussed had been just that—a discussion. As soon as Eoin opened that door and I stepped inside, things were going to change. And I didn’t know if I was ready for that to happen. As ballsy as I thought I’d been setting this plan in motion, I was actually scared shitless to see it through.

Calm down, I told myself, sucking in a gulp of oxygen and letting it out in a gust that turned to mist in the cold evening air. You’re not having sex with Eoin. You’re just going to talk. He’s going to teach you what guys like. That’s all. Nothingmore.

That was the plan, and yet I couldn’t help feeling like we were both fooling ourselves. The fact was, in order to teach me what guys liked there’d need to be some hands-on, practical training, and the thought of Eoin putting his hands on my body made my heart pound like a taiko drum. And the idea of putting my mouth on his had my stomach tied up in knots.

And the scariest thing of all was that was exactly what I wanted to happen.

Which was why this had been the most frustrating two weeks of my life. Because what had started off as a lark had morphed into a level of lust and desire I’d never anticipated.

Running my damp palms over my thighs, my heart sped up when I heard the thump, thump, thump of Eoin jogging down the stairs. When the bolt turned and the latch clicked, I considered turning tail and running down the walkway—far, far away from this terrible temptation—but then the door opened and Eoin stood in front of me in grey joggers that hung low, emphasizing the trim cut of his hips and the solid strength of his thighs. Those pants alone would have been enough to ratchet up my lust by a factor of 10, but add in his shirtless chest and it was nearly more than I could take. I couldn’t stop staring at a drop of water that fell from his wet hair, landing on the delicious curve of his muscular chest, and was snaking its way down his naked torso.

Through the whirring of the blood in my brain, I realized Eoin was chuckling at my reaction.

“Like what you see?” he asked, stepping aside to let mein.

Blinking away mortification at being caught staring, I raised my eyes and had to bite back a groan. Somewhere along the way—and I wasn’t quite sure how it’d happened—Eoin had gone from being cute to drop dead gorgeous. I was almost positive he hadn’t looked this good two weeks ago, but that didn’t make sense either. Because no one changed so dramatically in such a short period of time. Sure, you could change your hair color—that was something I did often enough—but the planes of your face didn’t shift, and your eyes didn’t suddenly pop, and your lips weren’t all of a sudden so damn soft and kissable that it was hard for people to keep from reaching out and touching them just to make sure they weren’t imagining things.

Shaking these thoughts from my mind, I stepped over the threshold and smiled awkwardly back at the boy—ahem, man—I’d known my wholelife.

“Hi,” I stammered, suddenly at a loss for words. I couldn’t remember ever once being tongue-tied, but this whole situation with Eoin was throwing me for a massive loop, one I obviously didn’t know how to deal with like the mature, confident adult I was desperately trying to prove I’d growninto.

Mature ass women don’t make deals like the one you have with Eoin, my inner snark remindedme.

Be quiet!I snarledback.

Shaking his head with a soft chuckle, Eoin turned and took the steps two at a time, his long legs stretching, his back muscles pulling … his tight glutes contracting.

I shook my head and swallowed down my reaction as I followed behind. What the hell was wrong with me tonight? This was Eoin McGrath, for chrissakes! By the time we reached the second floor landing, I was winded but Eoin kept on going. Pausing to pull breath into my heaving lungs, I leaned one hand against the wall and waited for my heart to stop pounding.

“Oh, come on! Are you seriously going to die on me rightnow?”

I held up a finger to indicate I needed a second. “I do yoga every morning but maybe I could up my cardio game,” I said when I finally had enough air in my lungs to speak.

While Eoin walked backward up the stairs as he monitored my slow-going progress, I focused on breathing in and out with eachstep.

“You’re too young to be this out of shape,” he observed, sticking the key in the lock and turning the handle, once we’d finally reached the apartment door. “I could train you, if you want. I’m not promising miracles, but a couple flights of stairs should be doable.”

Eoin stepped inside he held the door open, waiting for me to join him. Hesitantly, I took one step forward and then another. When I crossed the threshold, it felt like I’d also crossed over the imaginary line that separated Eoin my friend from Eoin my … well, something more than that. And now that the line was squarely at my back, it didn’t seem quite as important. As if by taking this small-yet-monumental step forward, I’d removed all my doubts and fear about what we were doing here. I allowed myself to admit that I was attracted to Eoin and that no matter how this experiment turned out, I’d beokay.

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