Page 51 of Ruck Me

I knew some things about Callum Casey, but couldn’t guess what he meant specifically. “Not sure I’m following.”

He sighed and raised his eyes. “Let’s just say playing soccer wasn’t the only thing he did while we were in California. I’m surprised my mom stayed withhim.”

“He cheated.”

“Dude, he didn’t just cheat. Models, actresses, singers—he fucked everything in sight. He even slept with my nanny and the housekeeper.”

“I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.”

Donal shrugged. “It is what it is. He’s an asshole who thinks women exist to worship his cock.” He fell silent for a few seconds while he examined the contents of his glass. “Do you know there are more ofus?”

“Us?” I asked.

“Caseys,” he answered with a sneer. “I have three sisters and two brothers back in L.A. that no one ever talks about.”

“Holy shit,” I whispered. “How has your da managed to keep that quiet?”

“He pays them off, of course,” he answered dejectedly. “I used to play with one of the kids—the housekeeper’s boy—when I was like five or six. I had no idea he was my half-brother until a couple of years later when I asked if he could spend the night and my mom flipped the fuck out. It turns out she knew all about him. She knows about all ofthem.”

“Shit man. I don’t know what tosay.”

“Not much to say, is there?” he asked rhetorically. “But that’s how it started, I think. Because of who my dad was, all these birds would throw themselves at me. Before I even had hair on my chest, all these girls at school would tell me they wanted to fuck me. I was young, but I wasn’t stupid.

“I wanted to have sex, don’t get me wrong, but I didn’t want to have sex with someone who only wanted to fuck me because of who my dad was. Then, when I started playing rugby, it was less about him and more about who I might be someday. You’ve seen how those girls are. You know what I mean. How many of them have you fucked and never spoken to again?”

I tried counting, but it was useless. “I couldn’t even say,” I admitted with some small amount of shame. “But some I did try dating,” I reminded Donal, knowing it was a half-assed excuse. Two or three dates didn’t count for much, and we both knewit.

“And the ones you didn’t try dating?”

“They always knew it was only a one-time thing only and nothing was going to come ofit.”

“That’s what my dad said too,” he answered pointedly.

“Yeah, but it sounds like your dad wasn’t very responsible. I always use a condom and make sure they’re on the pill or something.”

Donal looked at me like I was naïve. “Dude. My dad used a condom with my mom and here I am 22 years later.”

“Are yousure?”

“They both said so,” he answered with a shrug.

“Fuck.”

“Exactly,” he agreed. “So that’s why I haven’t had sex. At first, it was because I didn’t want to be like him, fucking every woman who threw herself at me. But then it was because I was terrified of ending up like him, having a bunch of kids with random women I didn’t care about.”

“So why haven’t you tried dating a normal girl if you’re so worried?”

“Because I’m fucked up,” he admitted with asigh.

“You’re not fucked up. Your thinking might be, but you’re not. There’s no shame in it, by theway.”

“Think about Tadhg and Ferg’s reaction to finding out about Aoife. And that’s with a girl. Can you imagine the shit they’d giveme?”

“That’s sort of what Aoife said. Some of her friends knew but they always gave her shit about it, so eventually, she just let them think she’d hadsex.”

“It’s easier thatway.”

“Except you didn’t just let us think you’d had sex,” I reminded him. “You talk about fucking girls all thetime.”

---