Page 106 of Ruck Me

She lifted a shoulder. “I imagine she’s at work rightnow.”

“You know what I mean,” I bit out, fighting back my urge to shake her until she gave me the information I sought. I’d never put my hands on a woman in anger before, but my patience was growingthin.

“I know what youmean.”

“Then why didn’t you say something?”

“Would you have believedme?”

I opened my mouth to argue, but she was probably right. If she’d have said Aoife didn’t live there anymore, I would have thought it was an excuse to make me leave. I probably would have stormed in, only to find the same scene.

I laced my fingers on the top of my head and let out a sigh, the futility of the situation shutting down all my bravado. “You aren’t going to tell me where she went, areyou?”

Clodagh rolled her lip between her teeth, indecision warring with loyalty. “Why’d you leave her, Eoin? Especially when she needed youmost.”

I scoffed and dropped my hands, shaking my head in disbelief. “Fucking unbelievable,” I muttered, sick and tired of hearing about what Aoife needed. What about what I needed? Why didn’t anyone seem to care how Ifelt?

Because you’re not the one having the fucking baby, my subconscious sneered. It had been doing a lot of that lately.

I blew out a breath and turned to leave. “Never mind. I’ll figure itout.”

I was certain she wouldn’t have gone back to Ballycurra, and there was no way she’d be able to afford her own place. Like a light bulb going off over my head, I suddenly knew where she’dbe.

“Later Clodagh,” I said, stepping around her and heading out thedoor.

It wasn’t the most polite exit, but I didn’t care. Right now the only thing I cared about was getting this situation with Aoife sorted, once and forall.

* * *

“Took you long enough,”Declan barked when he opened thedoor.

“I’m herenow.”

He glared at me for a quick moment and then stepped aside to let me in. “I suppose youare.”

“Where isshe?”

He notched his head toward the steps. “Upstairs.”

I took the stairs two at a time. When I’d almost reached the top, Declan called my name. “I hope you’re planning on doing the right thing.”

“It’s none of your fucking business.”

He laughed and shook his head. “She’s living in my house, Eoin. But even if she wasn’t, Aoife’s my sister so whether you like it or not, it’s my business. So Don’t. Fuck. It. Up.”

I bit my tongue to keep myself from telling him to go to hell. Once upon a time, I’d admired Declan; shit, I’d wanted to be like him someday. But now, with everything that had happened, I couldn’t stand the self-righteous prick. Still, he was my captain and my baby’s uncle, so I decided to keep those feelings to myself. Without further comment, I continued up the stairs and took a right toward the guestroom.

Popping my head inside, I saw Aoife sitting cross-legged on her bed, her laptop open and earbuds in her ears. She hadn’t seen me, so I stood there watching her. She looked so young, her head bopping to her favorite music (probably that fuck face Justin Bieber), her face free from make-up. Young and tired, I realized as I continued studying her face. A face that until a month ago I’d known like the back of my hand. I could have described—in perfect detail—every freckle, every line, every inch of her skin. Now she just looked like a stranger tome.

When it became apparent she was too absorbed in whatever she was working on to notice my presence, I stepped into her room, closed the door, and dropped into a chair. On the desk next to me was a stack of books with titles like What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Raising a Well-Adjusted Child on Your Own; The Single Mother’s Handbook; and Mommy & Me: When Daddy’s Not Around.

I’d thumbed through What to Expect When You’re Expecting after my ma had recommended it, but the others were new to me. Painful reminders of our situation. I wasn’t going to lie, When Daddy’s Not Around one tore at my guts, hurt in the worst possibleway.

When I managed to school my reaction, I looked away from the pile to find Aoife staring at me as if she’d never seen me before. Breaking the charged silence, I set my pointed finger atop the pile of books. “You can return the Mommy & Me one,” I said, my voice tight with emotion. “His dad’s going to be around.”

“Is that right?” Aoife asked, her voice flat and mistrustful.

I stared at her, trying to remember what I’d planned to say, but all my carefully rehearsed deserted me so I said the only thing that mattered. “I’m not going to let you raise our baby alone.”

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