Page 10 of Hearing Hank

“Hey, girl.” I greet him as he hops in the passenger seat.

“Hey, Queen,” Paul replies. Then he does a double take. “Okay, what on earth is going on with you?”

“What?” I ask, the absolute picture of innocence.

“You are wearing full face makeup, a satin blouse, and palazzo pants. I’ve only seen you that dressed up during the day when you’re actively trying to piss off your boss. Plus, I’m pretty sure you have beard burn under that makeup. So I repeat, what is going on?”

Everything I didn’t even know I was thinking comes out of my mouth in a rush.

“We had a date last night and it was amazing, but I wanted to make sure that he was interested in all of me, and wouldn’t be turned off by full glam, and then I didn’t even see him this morning.” I end with a pout.

Paul throws his hand up. “Hold up, hold up. Had a date with whom? And where? I saw you less than 36 hours ago! And since when do you get insecure about guys accepting you?”

I laugh at his dramatic reaction, and it kind of helps put mine in perspective a little bit.

“I had dinner at Hank’s house. It was strangely awesome. We pretty much did everything backward. We got each other off, then ate dinner, and then got to know each other. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed being with someone so much in my whole life, and now I’m a little freaked out.”

“I’m going to need a lot more details.” Paul grins. “I guess we know that he’s somewhere on the queer spectrum at least.”

“You know, I didn’t actually ask.” I tell him. “We ended up with our pants down so fast that we didn’t discuss what kind of queers we were first.”

I’m usually the first one down to dish about my sexual encounters, but something about hooking up with Hank feels different. I still want to talk about him though, so I ask Paul, “Did you know he’s in college? He went back for his master’s in environmental science a couple of years ago. He’s almost done with it.”

“That doesn’t really surprise me,” Paul says. “You can tell that he loves his job. It seems like a natural avenue. Plus, the availability of online classes makes it a lot easier for people with differences to have access to good classes.”

I run through the rest of the date with him, and reliving it just reminds me how great and organic the whole night felt. And talking to Paul helps me realize why I’m so nervous about it. I feel like over the course of twenty-four hours, Hank has become a vital part of my life, and I have no idea what to do about that.

13

Hank

Iwakeupfeelinglike I’m in a goddamn musical. I’m pretty sure if I open the kitchen window, little birdies would fly in and tell me good morning. Like everything is right with the world. It’s fucking weird. I’ve never had this kind of reaction to back-of-the-club hand jobs. I’m mucking stalls this morning, and it gives my brain a chance to wander. And when it wanders, it kills my good mood on the way.

I’m attached to the sameness and predictability of my life. It’s one of the things I love about the ranch. The seasons are predictable, the same work needs to be done over and over again. This thing with Leroy is a giant upset in my otherwise predictable world. I’m giddy and excited and scared and happy. I’m not sure that I’m ready for the big changes that it feels like he’s bringing with him. I don’t even know if he wants to see me again, or if he’s even interested in anything more. As far as I know, he’s leaving the day after the wedding and never looking back, so I’m not even sure why it feels like such a big deal.

While I had an amazing time last night, it’s not like he’s going to be around long. I don’t know how much that matters to me. I absolutely want to spend more time with him either way, but I don’t want to get overly attached if he’s leaving. To complicate matters more, every thirty seconds or so my brain gives me a super helpful image of Lee naked in bed, in me, under me, around me, over me. My libido is obviously ready to throw caution to the wind, and frankly, the rest of me is well on board. I’m not sure how much control I have over it anyway. I’ll just go along for the ride, and try not to get trampled when it’s over. In the meantime, I’ll shovel horseshit and think about getting all of Lee’s clothes off next time.

Sam comes into the barn as I’m finishing the last stall up. He’s in full uniform, hat and all, so he must be on his lunch break or patrolling out this way.

“Hey Hank. I was just letting Mark and Dad know about the bachelor party. We’re doing it together, even though that’s not traditional. I’m not interested in going out and partying without Paul, and he feels the same way. Plus, we pretty much share friends. We’re going to Red’s Roadhouse in Cheyanne on Friday night. Lee says we have to do it two nights before the wedding for safety.” He grins at that. I’m pretty sure neither Sam nor Paul is going to make such bad decisions that they can’t function the next day, but I can’t argue with the logic.

“Anyway. Dad says he’ll be one of the designated drivers, so if you want to drink, you can just catch a ride with him. I don’t want to have to arrest anyone at my own bachelor party.”

I’ve been putting the tools away as he talks, but I look up at him when he says that, startled. “What?” I ask.

“Well, having to arrest one of my guests would kind of kill the mood,” Sam jokes.

I shake my head. that wasn’t what I meant.

“You’re coming, right?” Sam says. “I just figured it would be easier on the night of the party if we chose who was driving now. I didn’t want anyone to have to leave their car in Cheyanne.”

“I didn’t know I was invited…” I raise my pitch at the end and make it a question. It never occurred to me that Sam would include me in the family and friends event.

“Of course you’re invited,” Sam says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re family, and I’ve known you literally forever.” He give me a confused look. “Did you not want to come?”

“I hadn’t thought about it, I’ve never been to something like that.”

“It’ll be fun, we’re not doing anything too crazy, just dinner and drinks, probably some dancing. Mostly it’s an excuse for everyone to have a good time, and if you think you can make it we definitely want you there.” Sam looks sincere and still a little confused as he reassures me.

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