Page 35 of Ruthless Legacy

I feel my cheeks heat. That kiss wasn’t an apology. Everything before that was.

“Oh, shit!”

“What?”

“The creepy sentry thing he was doing.” She waves her hands. “You know, standing in line and not ordering anything, or standing outside the building, and Austin told me he wouldn’t let anyone sit near you in class.”

“That was because he doesn’t like people around him.”

“True, and everybody knows that, so why did he make a big deal about it when he hadn’t before?” She shakes her head, looking smug. “It all makes sense now. He was doing it for you.”

“I doubt that. No. He wasn’t.” Was he? It’s kinda sweet if he was, but I must not’ve been hiding my fear as well as I thought if he noticed how spooked I was. Then again, it’s Holden. He analyzes and dissects everything. I’m sure he sees so much more than everyone else.

“There’s more. So um, Finn and Holden were trying to earn my forgiveness, and they both sort of admitted to having crushes on me. We didn’t spend a lot of time together until Christmas Break, but when we did, it wasn’t that bad. And I guess I sort of thought I liked them too. Finn was there for me in the middle of my meltdown after I got locked in the sauna.”

“What do you mean, locked in a sauna?” She pales. “Oh my god, Thea. Someone attacked you again?”

“There’s no evidence of that, but I know I didn’t lock myself in from the outside. The doctor said I couldn’t open the door because I had heat exhaustion. Pax is the one who found me.”

“He’s probably the one who did it.”

I had the same thought then, and now, since I know he was working with Eloise. “So after he took me to the infirmary, he signed for me to be discharged and Finn kind of took over taking care of me, since I was feeling so out of sorts. I was spiraling, and I didn’t want to go back to that mental space I was in when we stayed in Palisades Shores, so I acted out. He was there, and he was sweet and gentle, and unlike Pax, he believed me when I said someone locked me in. I regretted our hook up as soon as it was over.”

“Let me guess. Finn wasn’t willing to pretend it never happened.”

“No, he was not.”

“And Holden?”

“He spent his time scaring the shit out of me, and in some strange way, it helped me get over some of the fear. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. But I liked him too, and I let things happen.” My cheeks feel warm.

“Coach Wolfe, FinnandHolden?”

“I know. It’s a lot, and I didn’t mean to hook up with all of them. I chose Wolfe. But then he said it would be okay for me to see other people and, stupidly, I did.”

“Girl, there is nothing stupid about it. All of those men are fine as hell. Finn’s a little heavy on the psycho side, but we both know you’re the kind of girl who loves a little psycho in the morning.”

I laugh at her attempt at humor. It breaks the tension I was feeling. “So what about now? Do you still like them?”

“No! Yes? Maybe? Seeing the video of my attack is like experiencing the pain and going through the healing process all over again. Does that make sense?” I admit. “I’m struggling, LJ, and I don’t know what to do to get over it.”

She grabs my hands, squeezing them in hers. “Nobody expects you to get over it, and if they do, fuck them. This video is just a small piece of the puzzle. There are still so many unanswered questions, and until you have those answers, I don’t think you’ll truly be able to move on from it. Some people might, but your brain’s not wired that way. You like to know what you’re up against and deal with it.”

She’s right, I do. Not knowing prevents me from doing that.

“With this whole legacy thing ending, that’s one less stressful situation for you to deal with. Now you can focus on finding those answers.”

After a while, she says, “So Holden and Finn. You really like them?”

“It doesn’t matter. It all comes down to trust, and I don’t trust them.”

* * *

Pax

“Hello Pax.”

“Grandfather.” I smile and greet the other men at the table. Finn and Holden enter the corded off area with their dads. They have the same nervous tension rolling off of them that I do. I count three initiation committee members, two high council members (including my grandfather) and Holden and Finn’s dads, who are on the security committee and verification committee, respectively. Each one of these gentlemen is someone a prospect doesn’t want to see. Ever.

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