Page 73 of Brutal Kingdom

“I guess post orgasmic spooning is out of the question?”

“Spooning? Sex is out of the question, Logan.”

“Sex is very much in. Isn’t that why you’re freaking out?”

“I’m freaking out because you tricked me into sleeping with you. All this time I thought you were a stranger and you’ve been, what? Getting a sick thrill knowing you were getting one over on me?”

Scrubbing my hands through my hair, I wait for her to take a breath before saying anything else. She deserves to rant, because she’s right. I’ve known all along who she was and didn’t share my identity.

“I can’t believe it. You just keep finding more and more ways to take advantage of me.”

I climb off the bed, pulling my pants on. “Take advantage? Jordy, you texted me to come play this game tonight. You wanted me to find you and fuck you. So who was in control here?”

“I thought you were a stranger.”

“And I call bullshit on that. You really expect me to believe that you were okay having anonymous sex with someone you’ve never seen or talked to? You’re that free now?”

“I thought-”

“You didn’t think. You were pretending. And I was happy to let you do it.” I pull my shirt over my head. “Come on. Let’s not forget you were calling my name in the escape room.”

“It was a slip of the tongue.”

“It was your subconscious saying what your conscious didn’t want to admit. Deep down you knew it was me.”

She shoves her feet into her shoes. “I need to get out of here before you fuck up my life even more.”

I put an arm out to stop her from leaving. It’s out in the open. Now we have to deal with this. “No more running, Jordy.”

“There’s nothing wrong with a little self preservation. You should try it sometimes.”

Caressing her face, I say, “You don’t need to protect yourself from me.”

She slaps my hand away. “You’re exactly who I need protection from.”

“Jordy, I know we’ve fucked this up twice already, but we can make it work. We just have to want it to work.”

“Wanting it isn’t enough, Logan. Every time I let you get close, we end up further away than where we started.”

“Did what just happened feel like we weren’t in sync? Because I’ve never felt closer to you.”

“Sex was never our problem. It’s everything else. I can’t do this with you again. We just keep hurting each other and it’s gotta stop. You’ve gotta stop and let me move on.”

“Don’t you think I would? I’ve tried so many times to stop it, Jordy. To bury my feelings. To convince myself that I feel nothing. But I can’t. I just can’t quit you. I can’t pretend that I’m not totally and completely addicted to you. You own my heart Jordy, just like I own yours.”

Her eyes drop to the ground when she says, “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“If it wasn’t true, you wouldn’t be this upset at me and at yourself. I can see it in your eyes. You’re going through the exact same feelings I am. You want this push and pull. This hate and love. This comfort and pain. You want how we make each other feel. Nobody else will ever come close to making you feel half as alive or as whole as I do.”

“It’s not healthy.”

“According to who? What’s not healthy is making ourselves sick by refusing to acknowledge it. Not healthy is looking for this feeling in nameless, faceless hook ups. What’s not healthy is working ourselves past the point of exhaustion just so we’ll pass out. Then praying we won’t dream about the other. But us together. That’s the healthiest thing in the world.”

She’s finally looking at me. Still pissed, not buying into the dream I’m trying to sell. “How would this even work? I mean with Bella.”

I’m honest with her. “I don’t know. It’s not as easy as it was before. I can’t just go against her this time. Not when I’m not sure what she’s up to.”

“You really don’t know? I thought your little crew told each other everything.”

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