Page 49 of Fire Meets Fire

Her expression hardens. “The Dominators would be able to tell I would be prepared to let that damn bomb go off?—”

“Which is more rationale why you’re not fuckin’ doing it,” I snarl. My stance is similar to hers, both facing each other in a standoff.

There must be something in the tone of my voice or our posture that alerts Slugger. “I think the two of you have things to hash out.” Uncharacteristically, he turns as if to leave us alone. Normally he likes to be up in all brothers’ business. But he doesn’t go without imparting one final bit of advice. “I think the two of you should work out exactly what this relationship between you is, and exactly how far either of you are prepared to go.”

He turns and disappears back into the cabin.

Helo stares after him. “What did he mean by that?”

I close the space between us. Tentatively, I hold out my hand. After a pause, she takes it. As I wrap my fingers around hers, I make sure just to hold them loosely. “Walk with me?”

At the dip of her head, I lead her around the path that takes us to the back of the cabin. There’s a track that leads up to the mountains from there, a pretty path, dappled with dancing sunlight coming through the breeze driven leaves of the trees. As well as the lighting show, nature helpfully provides the shelter from the harshest rays of the hot Arizona sun. As we progress upward, the sounds of my brothers fade, and soon all we hear are the squawking of birds, presumably warning of intruders invading their space.

I’ve not had the cabin long, but have previously explored, finding solace in the peace. I follow the track, which is overgrown in parts, and lead her to a flat boulder. To one side there’s a fair drop, with water glistening below. I lean back against the rock, automatically spreading my legs. To mysurprise, Helo steps in between them, and cups her hands around my face.

After gazing into my eyes for a moment, she gently leans forward and brushes her mouth against my lips. Hers are just as soft as I expected they’d be. So surprised she’s initiated this intimacy, I hardly dare breathe as I wait to see what she’s going to do next. After pulling away, she examines my face, before once again moving in and melding her lips to mine. This time, she closes her eyes and gives a small sigh.

When her tongue flicks at my lips, I take a chance, open my mouth, and she takes the invitation, advancing inside. As if she’s a wild animal I could so easily frighten away, I make no sudden moves, don’t chance putting my arms around her, and leave her in control.

The kiss becomes more heated. I groan as she moans. With everything that’s happened to her, while I want to take this further, if she pulls back now, even if she leaves me with blue balls, I won’t think she’s a tease. I’ll be quite happy if this is as far as she thinks she can go.

I try to lock my hands into place, but the impulse to touch her is almost overwhelming. Before I can lose my senses, she eases away, resting her forehead against mine in a gesture of such intimacy I feel it right through to my bones.

When she straightens, I open my eyes and see that she’s staring, and unfortunately, straight down to my groin where there’s nothing I can do to hide the bulge that’s formed, and with her in such close proximity, there’s no way it’s going away.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she replies softly.

But I feel the need for more explanation. “It’s not okay, but it’s automatic when I’m around you.”

Her response can be read a number of ways. “I know it’s a normal male reaction.”

Yeah. She knows only too well. I grimace as I remember. “It’s a reaction that led you to passing out?—”

Her gaze snaps up to meet mine. “I didn’t know you then, Chaz. All I knew was that there was a very aroused male on top of me, and my mind shot me back into the past.” She pauses, then waves her hand downward, drawing my attention to that part of me embarrassingly standing to attention. “I don’t think you’d ever force me or hurt me.”

“Too fuckin’ right,” I growl. “I’d cut off my fuckin’ dick before I put it somewhere it wasn’t wanted.”

She sighs deeply. “You’ve got to let me take point with the Dominators, Chaz. I need it. I’ve been fighting for my life because it’s an automatic reaction, while wondering why the hell I’m trying to stay alive.” Her face twists. “Those bastards took more than the obvious from me.” Before I can give a consoling and probably meaningless reply, she continues, enlightening me as to her true meaning. “I was a woman in a man’s world. I had to be better, work harder, prove myself, not only that I could do the job, but that I deserved to be there. Respect isn’t given, it’s earned, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t give my all to achieve that.” She doesn’t have to explain how female Night Stalkers are a rarity, and I have no problem believing her, so when she raises her eyes to mine, I lift my chin to show my understanding. “I became a person where what I have or didn’t have between my legs wasn’t important. It was my skill that was in demand. And by fuck if I didn’t prove myself time after time.” Her mouth quirks. “I’d like to say I wasn’t reckless, but I sure skirted the edge of danger. But if soldiers wanted to be rescued, they wanted Helo flying their way.” She shrugs, letting me know it’s no idle boast. “Not that I was any better than any other Night Stalker, but I was their equal, not their worst.”

A rustle in the undergrowth gets her attention for a moment, her reaction as fast as any soldier who’s served. She turns,tenses, then just as fast relaxes as a bird hops off, searching for food. As her back is now turned toward me, I pull her to rest against my front.

“I couldn’t show any sign of weakness.” As she speaks, her chest vibrates against my arms holding her close. “I couldn’t be any different, so when we had down time, I drank, and fucked—never another Night Stalker, but there were other servicemen, other ranks. I was as hotblooded of a woman as any male soldier.”

I squeeze her slightly, knowing I’m just the same. I’ve no right to judge her as I’m certainly no monk, and women have needs just like men. Especially when living on the edge when surviving another day isn’t a given.

“I was in control of my life, strong, capable. Right up until I wasn’t.”

“You were captured,” I remind her.

“Buttheydidn’t treat me like one of the men.” She pulls against me and I let my arms drop immediately, thankful when she nears me again, turning to voluntarily rest her cheek against my chest. “They stripped me mentally and physically. At first, I’d fight them, but then realised to them it was a game.” Her hands curl into my shirt. “They made me nothing more than a weak, defenceless woman. They fucked with everything in my head.” She raises her eyes to mine and now gets to the point of this conversation. “Let me go into the Dominators’ club, Chaz. Let me take that risk. It doesn’t matter what happens to me. Helo is already dead.”

If she’d punched me, I couldn’t have reeled more. How can this beautiful person in front of me think she’s been reduced to nothing worth living for? I try to put myself in her place. What if I was stripped of my rank and my club? What if I’d been tortured and kept as a prisoner? I’ve known brothers who served who’ve come back under such circumstances and were never again rightin the head. While my immediate inclination is a rebuttal of everything she’s said, I know I have to choose my words very carefully.

“You’re right. You’re not Helo the Night Stalker anymore.” Even though she was the one to say it, she tenses as if she was expecting me to say the reverse. “You’re not someone less, nor someone better. You’re just someone who’s been transformed.” As she goes to speak, I shake my head. “Let me tell you about Queenie, the woman I’ve met. She’s brave, fearless, transcends her difficulties.”

“I—”

---