Page 12 of Touch In Excess

Four

For a moment,he thought he was going to be sick. Rami knew that he’d been playing with fire—so to speak. He’d been flirting and pushing the boundaries he’d set for himself because it was almost impossible not to. He liked Skye more than he’d expected to, and the more he tried to pull away, the more his instincts told him to lean in closer.

He’d seen it in the car when Rami had recognized Skye’s friend. He was waiting on edge for Rami to find out what he did and reject him. It must have happened to him dozens of times, if not more, and his heart hurt for him because he knew that exact same fear. Granted, Rami had never tried to date since starting his channel, but he knew if anyone ever realized who he was and what he did, he was screwed.

He had no idea how to put Skye at ease other than dropping the subject entirely and moving on to other things. Which he had. He’d been perched on his own knife’s edge for Skye to think he was a weirdo and bail on the date, but everything that sent other people running in the opposite direction seemed to have Skye enjoying his company more.

Of course, he was also terrible at showing that, so it was no surprise that Skye was in a panic about Rami not liking himback. Rami’s move would have been to lean in and kiss him. And he nearly had. But he remembered his promise to himself and what kissing could—and would—lead to if he let it.

And he couldn’t let it.

Not until his grandfather’s house was taken care of.

His only choice was to confess. He hadn’t meant to blurt it out the way he did, but like always, the words tumbled from his lips without any preamble, and now, he and Skye were sitting on the grass at the park across the street from the bar in awkward silence.

Skye hadn’t said anything other than to ask, ‘Can I hold your hand?’ after Rami’s confession.

Rami let him, of course. It meant they also couldn’t talk since Skye’s hearing aids were dead, but Rami didn’t mind the silence. It allowed him to better collect his thoughts as they made their way to a spot under a gas lamp–style post so they could see each other’s hands.

He knew Skye was waiting for him to elaborate, but Rami had no idea how to go on if Skye didn’t ask him something. He couldn’t read his face very well. Was he angry? Sad? Against all odds, was he fine with it?

‘How did you recognize Avan?’

Rami was not expecting that to be the first question Skye asked, and it took him a moment to remember who Avan was. He’d only seen his photo a few times. A former client of the Tower had posted shots of the guys in a Discord server Rami had been part of right after he’d started his channel, and Rami never forgot faces, even if he’d only seen the person for half a second.

‘Someone posted him online two years ago,’ he answered. He kept his signs slow after remembering that Skye’s ASL skills were still beginner.

Skye pulled a face. “Right,” he said aloud. “I forgot about that leak. Stone went to court over that one.”

‘Sorry,’ Rami told him.

Skye shook his head and reached for Rami’s hand, squeezing his fingers and stroking a thumb over the inside of his wrist. The touch was so nice Rami wanted to crawl onto his lap, straddle him, and just bask in his warmth.

Letting him go, Skye shook out his hands, then asked, ‘Why do you have to stay a virgin?’

And there it was.

‘Is it your religion? Is it a marriage thing?’

Rami laughed. He didn’t mean to. It was actually a very fair question. But the reality of the answer made it so much funnier than it should have been. ‘Sorry,’ he signed quickly as he got control of himself. ‘Sorry, sorry.’

Skye didn’t seem offended. He chuckled along and shook his head. “It’s fine,” he said aloud. “It was a silly question.”

‘No,’ Rami answered back. ‘I promise. But…’ His fingers hovered in the air. The truth was, he didn’t want to tell him. Not yet. He knew that Skye wouldn’t judge him. Not with what he did for a living. But he wanted time to get to know Skye before opening himself up and bleeding all of his problems on the man’s lap.

He wanted to have something that felt a little…normal, even if nothing about either of them was what everyone else might consider normal.

He swallowed heavily, then said, ‘I don’t want to tell you.’

Skye flinched like he’d been slapped. ‘Okay, I understand?—’

‘No,’ Rami signed quickly. He let out a frustrated sigh. ‘Sorry, this is hard. I want to make sure you understand, but I don’t know if your signing is good enough.’

Skye blinked, then laughed loudly. “You really don’t pull punches, do you?”

It took Rami a second of processing to understand what that phrase meant, and then his cheeks went hot. ‘Sorry. I’m not trying to insult you.’

Skye leaned in and grabbed his hands, holding them tightly in his own. “Stop apologizing for what comes naturally to you. I like it. And maybe your truth is a little sharp, but I like that it’s genuine. And you’re right. I’m following the conversation, but it’s not as easy as speaking.”

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