Page 13 of Touch In Excess

Rami nodded and leaned forward until his forehead dropped to Skye’s shoulder. His hands were released, and then a hesitant, gentle touch started at the base of his spine. The touch got harder and more confident as Skye’s palms traveled up toward his neck. It was so good he groaned softly, and Skye laughed again.

“You do like me.”

Rami nodded against his shoulder. He really, really did.

After a beat, Skye gently eased Rami back and touched his chin, drawing his gaze up. He didn’t seem to mind that Rami didn’t meet his eyes directly. His gaze was restless, taking in the shape of Skye’s chin, and his nose, and the very small cupid’s bow on his lips. He counted every freckle he could in the dim light as they sat there in a lingering silence.

Then, Skye lifted his hand and used two fingers to draw a touch down Rami’s jaw. “If you keep close to my right side, I’ll be able to hear you. I’m not totally deaf, and that’s my better side. I’m not asking you to tell me every single thing about you, but I like you a lot, and I’d like to know if this can go somewhere.”

Rami felt panic in his gut because he didn’t know if this could go somewhere. He wanted it to, but with the rules he’d have to set down…well.

He licked his lips. “I will tell you, but not yet. I want us to get to know each other first. If I didn’t know about the Tower, I’d expect you to keep that a secret too. For a little while.”

Skye’s lips moved into an almost sad smile. “Okay. Are you worried I’ll judge you?”

Partly, he supposed. Partly that Skye would think it was an absurd idea and not want to be with him because he couldn’t come up with anything better than selling himself off to a bunch of strangers. And partly that Rami was being reckless because for now, his channel was safe, but the moment he invited one of those faceless screen names into his bedroom, all bets were off.

If he hadn’t been so desperate, that part would have scared the piss out of him.

“I don’t know,” he eventually answered. It was the most honest thing he could come up with without giving himself away.

Skye took a deep breath, then eased back from him and squared his shoulders. “To be honest, I didn’t expect to be on this side of the conversation tonight.”

Rami glanced around before realizing that Skye didn’t mean physically. “Oh. Because of the…the Tower thing?”

Skye laughed. “I expected that to be a much bigger, much more stressful issue. But you…don’t seem to mind?” His voice rose at the end, like he was still unsure.

“I don’t mind,” Rami said quickly.

Skye’s mouth softened into a grin. “So that’s throwing me a bit. I don’t care that you’re a virgin, and if that’s the only issue holding you back…”

“It matters,” Rami said. “I can’t give you an answer on how long it’ll be for you to wait, and it didn’t seem fair to start something with you if we can’t go further than what I’ve already done.”

Skye said nothing for a beat. His brow was furrowed in thought, and Rami appreciated that he wasn’t jumping into what would be empty promises that this would all be okay. “Can I ask you to define what you consider a virgin? It means very different things to a lot of people.”

Rami frowned. Did it? He hadn’t really thought about it, but he supposed that made sense. To him, his virginity was not being penetrated or penetrating someone else. But he supposed he couldn’t apply that definition to everyone. Maybe to someone else, virginity was being touched sexually at all.

“Sorry if that’s too much?—”

‘No,’ Rami signed, then remembered Skye needed spoken language to make sure his brain was understanding all the nuances of their conversation. “No. It’s not too much. I just never thought about it for other people. I don’t think about other people very often, which I know isn’t good.”

Skye snorted and reached out, briefly cupping his cheek. “It’s fine. You’re fine. Just be yourself, okay?”

Well. Rami wasn’t used to hearing that. He managed a smile—at least, it felt like a smile, though he knew he had resting murder face. But Skye still seemed entirely unbothered, if not happy with Rami’s reactions.

“I’ve never put my penis inside someone,” he said. Skye’s expression twitched, like an electronic glitch, but it didn’t last long. “And I’ve never had someone’s penis inside me. Or a toy,” he added thoughtfully. “Or fingers.”

Skye cleared his throat, and for a moment, Rami thought maybe he was making the man uncomfortable. Then he saw Skye adjust himself, and he realized he was, but not for the reason he was afraid of. “Has anyone ever touched your…your penis?” Skye clearly struggled with the technical word, and Rami wondered if it had to do with the amount of dirty talk the man must do for his job.

Rami laughed. “You can say cock if you want to. It doesn’t bother me.”

Skye all but tackled him, bursting into a fit of giggles. “I’m sorry. It’s just…at work, I have to get really creative to keep it sexy. This is probably the weirdest sex conversation I’ve ever had, and I fucking love it.”

The honesty was heavy in his voice, and it settled something in Rami’s chest. He waited for Skye to look back up at his lips before he answered. “Yes, I’ve had someone stroke my…um…penis.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth. He hated that he wasn’t telling Skye everything, but he wasn’t ready for the risk that came with letting someone he liked know how different he was. “I’ve had someone lick me on it too, but they’ve never put me in their mouth for a blowjob.” He worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “Does that make me less of a virgin?”

“No. Only you can decide that,” Skye said firmly. “The only reason I’m asking is to see where the boundaries are for your body.”

Oh! “Oh.” He hadn’t considered that maybe doing some things would be better than doing nothing at all. That maybe Skye—for a little while—could be satisfied with the smaller parts of a physical relationship.

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