Page 59 of Baby Boy

With shaking fingers, Avery soothed his palms down the front of the shirt.

“Absolutely perfect,” Jace announced.

And Avery broke further. Sobs filled the air as he slapped his hands over his face, trying to hide.

“No, no, no, baby boy. You don’t hide from Daddy.” Jace picked him up and he was carried over to the chair. Sitting with his legs across Jace’s lap, Avery tried to duck his face so he wouldn’t have to look at his Daddy, but Jace held Avery’s chin between his thumb and fingers.

“What’s wrong?” Jace asked gently.

Avery shook his head.

“You need to tell Daddy so I can fix it,” Jace insisted.

“I…I don’t des…deserve presents! I’m a bad boy!” Avery sobbed.

“No, you’re not a bad boy,” Jace assured him.

“Yes…yes…I am…” He hiccupped and cried harder.

“Shh.” Jace rocked Avery, rubbing his strong hand up and down Avery’s back.

Avery didn’t know how long he was snuggled until the tears had stopped. But too soon, Jace was cleaning his face with a wet wipe. Avery peeked at him through his matted eyelashes.

“Tell me why you think you’re a bad boy,” Jace requested.

Avery shrank back. “You know,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

“I need you to tell me what you think,” Jace responded.

“I yelled at you and cussed,” Avery reminded him. “I didn’t call you when I didn’t have a ride. I was bad!” The last words were howled.

“Okay.” Jace patted his back. “Those are all things you shouldn’t do, but I think more is going on than you being disrespectful on purpose.”

What? Like Avery had a reason to be bad? No, Avery wanted to be good. “I don’t understand.”

“You did do all those things,” Jace pointed out. “But that’s not why you’re crying, is it? There’s more?”

Avery shrugged. There was, but he didn’t know how to explain his feelings.

“I need words, baby boy,” Jace told him. “When you did those things, how did they make you feel?”

“Bad,” Avery admitted. He grasped Jace’s shirt, wishing he had his lily or stuffie to hold on to.

Jace reached over and grabbed Jared from the bed. He passed over Avery’s favorite stuffie and Avery held Jared tight to his chest. “That’s better.” Jace kissed Avery’s head then even kissed Jared’s.

Avery giggled. His Daddy was silly.

“You should feel bad when you do things that you know Daddy doesn’t like.”

It was more than feeling bad. Avery didn’t know how he was going to survive when Jace got tired of him. How could he go back to his lonely and bleak existence?

“What do you think should happen?” Jace asked.

Avery blinked up in confusion. Happen? Like…he didn’t know. “Huh?”

“You feel bad and need to be punished,” Jace said. “How do you think I should punish you?”

“Punished?” he squeaked. They hadn’t played around with discipline and Avery didn’t want to be punished. But that was better than Jace leaving him. He’d take a beating if that made Jace stay.

---