Page 60 of Baby Boy

“When you act out, Daddy will punish you. Once the punishment is over, Daddy will talk and cuddle you. Then you don’t ever worry about it again. Once you’ve been punished, it’s over, Daddy will never bring it up again, and neither will you.”

Wait, it would just be over? That couldn’t be right.

“Do you understand Avery?” Jace asked.

“No…no…not really.”

“Little boys get frustrated or angry or act out for reasons they might not even know. Then their Daddy punishes them so they know all is forgiven. Once they’re forgiven, they know that Daddy punished them because he cares.”

Okay, that made sense but… “What if I’m really bad?” How much was too much? When would Jace leave?

“I don’t know what you’re asking,” Jace confessed. “You’re not a bad boy, Avery. You’re good—too good, sometimes. I actually think that you might enjoy acting out more.”

Avery shook his head quickly. He didn’t want to be bad!

“Okay.” Jace chuckled. “But you need to understand that nothing you ever do will make me go away or leave you.”

Avery sucked in a sharp breath.

“Baby boy,” Jace cooed. “That’s it, isn’t it? You’re still trying to be perfect all the time so I don’t leave you or send you away?”

Avery lifted Jared to hide his face behind but nodded.

Jace pushed Jared back down. “Look at me, Avery,” he ordered sternly.

Avery gulped but lifted his head.

“Nothing.”

Huh, nothing what?

“Do you hear me?” Jace asked.

“Yes?”

“Nothing you do will make me leave you or send you away,” Jace told him. “That’s not how our relationship works. You can’t be too bad. You can’t push me away.”

“What if I—”

“Nothing you do,” Jace said firmly. “If, down the road, you decide you don’t want to be with me, if you want to end the play, or the relationship, we’ll discuss it. We’ll make sure you have people to support you. Your friends and the people you’ll meet through me. No one is going to turn their back on you. You’re part of a community now and they’ll take care of you if I can’t.”

“They don’t even know me,” Avery said.

“But they will,” Jace replied. “They’ll get to know you, care for you, love you. You’re not alone anymore, even if you decide this isn’t what you want.”

“I do want it,” Avery said. “I want you, but you’ll get tired of me. Everyone does. I’m too much work.”

“You’re not,” Jace corrected. “You don’t even see how beautiful you are when you submit, when you smile, when you stop worrying and just be yourself.”

“Me?”

“Whether you’re my sweet boy or being a brat, Avery, you are perfect just the way you are.”

God.Avery slumped. He was wrung-out.

“It will take time, but I will remind you every day that you are special.”

“Thank you.” He picked at Jared’s fur. “Are you still going to punish me?” He really didn’t want that.

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