Page 80 of Everlasting Promises

I tip my head back again and press my lips together, nodding in agreement even though she can’t see me. “Thanks, Clara.”

I think Wyatt would, too. Ben’s so good with Evan and so patient with me. He brings fun back into our lives, which was something Wyatt always tried to do whenever he was home. And most importantly, Ben doesn’t look at us like we’re broken.

“Any time, my friend. I gotta go, but I can come over later if you want.”

“Thanks, but I’m okay.”

We say goodbye, and when I look back out at the field, the game has ended and the kids are shaking hands.

37

HOPE

Draggingmy rubber gloves up my arms, I turn toward Evan, still sitting at the table as he looks at something on his phone. “Hey, Ev. How about you come and help dry the dishes for me?” I pose it like a question, but he knows I expect him to help.

I learned long ago that, if I want to chat with him, he has to be busy … slightly distracted.

Once the sink is full, I toss him the dish towel and get started. As he’s drying the first glass, I watch him out of the corner of my eye. “How are you, Ev?”

“Okay. You?” he asks as he stuffs the dish towel inside the glass, concentrating hard to get the water at the very bottom.

I look at him, so he can see the sincerity of my answer. “I think I’m doing better these days, but I’d like to know ifyouagree?”

He places the glass in the cupboard and turns to me. Leaning against the counter, he takes my breath away. He looks so much like his father. He crosses his arms and studies me closely, making me shift under his scrutiny. “I think you’re not so sad.I’ve even seen you smile and heard you laugh. And I like the way we’ve been talking about Dad more.”

I turn back to the sink. The way he’s looking at me, like he can see inside my head, gives me goosebumps. He’s twelve, for goodness’ sake. He shouldn’t be so perceptive. “I’m sorry.”

He collects another glass and wipes the outside. “What for?”

“It upsets me you haven’t seen me happy for such a long time.” I rinse the plate and place it on the dish rack.

His eyebrows scrunch together. “But you’ve been sad because of Dad.”

I smile sadly at my son. “But I still had you here, and it’s like I forgot how important you are to me. I should have put my focus on you. On the person I love most in the world rather than the person I lost. It wasn’t fair to you, Ev.”

He wraps his arm around my waist and rests his head against my shoulder. “You didn’t forget me.” He squeezes me, and I wrap my arm around him. “You made sure I had everything I needed. You always picked me up from school on time and always took me to soccer practice. Every night you told me how much you love me, and you always helped me with my homework.” He looks up at me with a guilty expression. “You even put up with my bad moods and terrible decisions.”

I grin down at him and stroke his hair with my glove-covered hand. “I love you all the way toKnowhereand back again. You know that, right?”

“I know.”

My grin falls, and I study him carefully, noting the changes in the shape of his face. He’s growing up so fast. “Would you like to talk to a counselor or psych? Someone who you can talk to about your feelings in a safe place? I know you haven’t always been able to talk to me about stuff because I always got too upset.”

He shakes his head. “Nah. I could always talk to Shane or Nanna and Grandad, as well as Grandma and Pop, or AuntyClara.” He looks down and back up at me. “Shane even let me take some of my bad mood out on him that time when I was feeling angry and upset.”

My relief is overwhelming, and I grip the counter to keep myself upright. Mom said they’d all picked up where I fell down, but hearing it from Evan settles that deep pit of worry deep in my gut. Knowing he wasn’t left floundering and that our friends and family watched out for him when I was unable releases tension deep inside my muscles and it’s almost like I can take a full breath for the first time in over six years.

“Do you think we’ll be okay?” I ask.

He nods with a grin. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure we’re okay.” His grin widens. “And we have Ben now.”

My heart takes off at a gallop at the joy on my son’s face when he says Ben’s name. “Well, yeah. He’s been a great friend to you.”

“And you, too,” Evan fires back.

I chuckle, nodding. “Yeah. Me too.”

“You know, he told me our heart is elastic. We can love as many people as we want to, and our heart will fit them all in.” He looks at me. “He said we didn’t have to stop loving Dad to love him. He said we could love both of them.”

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