Page 102 of Everlasting Love

He shakes his head. “I didn’t … don’t … want pity. I didn’t … still don’t … deserve it.”

“It’s not pity I feel for you. My heart breaks for the man you were. The man youthoughtyou were. You couldn’t have been more wrong.” I draw on my reserves because he needs to hear what I’m about to say to him. “I wasn’t there, but that IED … it wasn’t your fault.Noneof it was your fault. Wyatt’s death wasn’t your fau—” When he opens his mouth to argue with me, I press my thumb to his lips and shake my head. “It wasn’t. None of it. If I know you, and I feel that I mostly do, you would have done everything you could if you hadn’t been rendered unconscious. But, honestly, looking at you and your scars, I don’t see how the outcome for him could have been any different when he was right next to the boy with the device.”

Tears fill his eyes and escape the corners, trailing down the side of his face into his hair and I wipe them clear with my thumbs. He closes his eyes at the contact. “I know,” he whispers, his breath licking my lips.

“It was so tragic, Shane, and I’m sorry right down to my bones that you’ve had to experience it. Nobody should have to go through what you’ve been through. But I want to make sure that you understand you have friends and family around you who want to support you. Who love and cherish you. Please don’t shut us out.” He nods as best he can in my hold. “I know you’re tormented right now because you’ve hurt Toby but I know you guys will sort this out and get back to how things were.”

His hand threads into my hair, and he pulls me toward his lips, taking my mouth in a passionate kiss full of gratitude and promise.

37

SHANE

I fall backagainst my pillows in frustration. I desperately want to go home but the doctor insisted I stay another night. I miss Jasmine, even though Rose brought her up to visit yesterday afternoon. Violet’s been with me the whole time, only leaving my side to grab coffee and snacks which is where she is right now. As thankful as I am to have her by my side, guilt consumes me that I’m keeping her away from her daughter and job.

“It’s here, Mom.” Evan steps through the door with Hope close behind. He’s wearing his soccer uniform and cleats. Damn, it was my turn to coach this week. “Shane!” he calls as he closes the distance to my bed.

I smile. “Hey, big guy.”

His eyes start at my feet and trace their way up my body with concentrated focus until he reaches my face. I smile, hoping to calm his obvious worry. “Hey.”

I tip my chin toward Hope. “Hey, how are you doing?”

“Better than you.”

I shrug. “Yeah, well … better me than Jas.”

“While we were waiting to hear if you were going to be okay when you were first brought in, Jasmine told us all about how you saved her from a rattlesnake.” She leans down and kisses my bristly cheek. “You did good.”

I shrug. “Better me than her.”

Hope nods. “I haven’t stopped thinking about it all.” She bites her bottom lip. “And I was thinking … maybe …”—she glances at Evan, then returns her gaze to me—“maybe you were meant to survive the blast so you were here to save Jasmine’s life,” she says with a shaky voice.

Oof.

I feel like she slammed my solar plexus with a sledgehammer. I force air into my lungs and swallow past the boulder-sized lump in my throat. She knows my struggle. That I was furious that I’d survived when Wyatt didn’t and I can’t believe she can stand at my bedside and point out the serendipity of the situation. Once I regain my composure I acknowledge her thoughts with a simple nod and turn my attention to Evan. “Sorry I can’t make it to training this afternoon.”

He looks down at the floor, then back up at me. “That’s okay. Ben said he’d come down and help even though he doesn’t know anything about soccer. He said I could tell him what you usually do and I could be his assistant coach.” His eyes are alight with excitement and it’s great to see a glimpse of the old Evan.

“Who’s Ben?” I glance between Hope and Evan, as she shifts on her feet.

“He’s the police officer that … you know,” Evan says, dropping his eyes from mine as pink stains his cheeks.

I look between the two for a few moments, and then I realize that Ben, the police officer, must be spending time with Hope and Evan for him to step in as coach on my behalf. Maybe Hope’sready to open her heart. Smiling, I muss up Evan’s hair. “That’s great. Please thank him for me, and if he gets stuck, he can give me a call.”

Evan’s head snaps up. “You’re not mad?” His eyes widen.

I chuckle. “Why would I be mad? I’m grateful he can step in to help.”

He blows out a long breath, and I watch the tension release from his and Hope’s shoulders. Evan smiles and looks up at his mom. “He said he can help out as long as you need, provided he’s not working.” He moves in closer and lowers his voice. “I was worried it would hurt your feelings. I’m glad you’re not mad because Ben’s really cool.”

Ben’s really cool. I think he’s smitten. I glance at Hope, noticing she looks a little lighter, the gray cloud overhead seems to be dissipating.

She titters. “Ben and Evan have become fast friends, but I think Evan loves Ben’s police dog, Rex, more than he does Ben.”

“Well … Rexispretty cool.”

Violet steps into my room with a tray of drinks and snacks, and my smile is instant. When Toby steps through the door behind her, it drops along with my stomach. I’m surprised he came back at all, let alone the day after I shared my secret with him and trampled our friendship into the ground.

---