Page 26 of Everlasting Love

Thank fuck.

At least I did something right.

After spending an hour and a half going through everything with the police officer, I climb back into my SUV. I lean my head against the headrest, blow out a long breath, then smack the shit out of my steering wheel. I’m so damn pissed, and I’m on the brink of exploding. I need to fucking punch something.

I shoot Toby a text.

Me

I watched the footage of the attack

You should be fucking proud of your girl. She fought him like a champion to protect her friend

Toby

Thanks, bro

Me

I’ve taken it to the police and filled in the necessary paperwork

Toby

I appreciate it, thanks

Me

No problem. Let me know if you need anything

Toby

Will do

I drop my phone onto the console and start the engine, giving it extra gas for good measure. I head straight toThe Bunker. It’s the one place I can go and beat the shit out of something and someone will keep an eye on me from a distance to make sure I don’t go completely feral.

There’ll be no questions, no judgment—exactly what I need.

Pulling into the parking lot around the corner, I fly out of my car and climb the steps, drag open the large door, and storm inside straight to the gym room. I take a minute to remove my button-down shirt and boots, put on a pair of gloves, and then start with a couple of warm-up hits to the bag. One punch, then two, and I lose track of time. The pounding of leather against leather sets a frenetic soundtrack—sweat trickling down my back, my muscles tensing and aching, my flesh contracting and flexing—as I try to expel the rage and anger that’s bubbling inside of me like a volcano ready to blow. I increase my intensity, adding side kicks as my lungs burn and my eyes sting as they fill with sweat. Furious grunts leave my lips with each expulsion of breath as the shadows across the room lengthen and darkenwhile the chain holding up the bag creaks against the wooden beam. I punch and kick the bag like a madman until my muscles turn to Jell-O, and the adrenaline in my system is depleted. I drop my heavy arms and lean against the wall, sliding down the smooth surface until my ass hits the padded floor, wincing at the pain in my back. Raising my knees, I remove the gloves and rest my arms on them, then lean my head back against the wall as I work to catch my panting breath.

“Feel better?” Nix’s calm voice breaks the silence, and when I drop my head, I find him leaning against the doorjamb with his arms folded across his chest. “I didn’t think you were ever going to run out of power.” He takes a step into the room and drops to his ass across from me, mirroring my pose against the opposite wall.

I grunt. I don’t have the energy to put my thoughts into words right now. He gets comfortable but remains silent. And waits.

“It’s my fault Cass and Sam are in the hospital. I fucking failed them,” I whisper into the near darkness.

“Explain to me exactly how you failed those women, Sutton, because last I checked you weren’t even in the state.” Nix’s voice is firm but laced with compassion.

“If I’d stayed behind like Toby wanted, I would have been the one watching over them. Cassia’s ex wouldn’t have gotten past me.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” He shrugs like it doesn’t matter. “There would have been a point where you would have needed to take a piss or grab something to eat and if he was determined to get to those women, he would have found a way. Whether you were the one watching over them or not.” He studies his hands dangling between his knees. “Markham isn’t a pushover. You know this. He was gone ten minutes, tops.”

“He shouldn’t have fucking been gone at all. His job was to stand outside that door and watch over the women.”

“No one’s beating themselves up more than he is right now. I promise you, he feels as though he’s let everyone down.” I grunt. “I don’t know where this complex of yours is coming from, Shane. You are not responsible for every terrible thing that happens.”

I interlock my fingers and clench my hands together. “I don’t feel responsible foreveryterrible thing that happens. Just the awful shit that happens to the people I care about that I could have prevented.” My throat grows tight and the air feels as though it’s thinned in the room as I struggle to draw in a proper breath. “Ishouldhave prevented it,” I murmur the last words.

“Okay, let’s work through this.”

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