Page 71 of Stolen Kisses

“Our lymphatic system is responsible for removing waste from our body and helps in the fight against infections. Your bra has possibly blocked the lymph glands located in your armpit there.” He indicates his own armpit. “We can do an ultrasound and a mammogram to take a look at what’s happening below the surface.” He presses some buttons and his printer comes to life, spitting out a sheet of paper. “Here’s a referral for an ultrasound and a mammogram. Once we get these results, we can move forward with the appropriate treatment.” He hands the sheet of paper to me.

“Uh, is it treatable?” I’m surprised at how strong my voice sounds considering how discombobulated I feel right now. Ihonestlydidn’t expect it to be anything.

“Absolutely. Treatment will depend on how far along thelymphedemais.” He gives me a list of locations where I’m able to go for the tests. “I can see that you’re worried. I don’t wantyou to worry. Get the scans and we’ll take it from there. Okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.” I stand on unsteady legs, a littleshell-shockedthat there’s a possibilitysomethingmay be wrong with me. I can’t afford to get sick. I need to work and care for the boys; take Lachlan to his appointments. I hope thislymphedemaisn’t anything too serious.

“Please don’t go Googlinglymphedema. All sorts of things may come up in the search and I don’t want your mind going to the worst-case scenarios.” He raises a brow at me, knowing that’s exactly what I planned to do when I got home. I’ve been seeing Dr. Peterson for a few years nowand he knows me too well.

I nod. “Okay. I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises that I won’t look.” Iattemptto smile, but I’m pretty sure it comes out more like a grimace.

Making it to my car, I sit for a few moments, digesting what my doctor just told me. Staring out of the windscreen, I decide to get the scans over and done with as soon as possible. That way I can put all of this behind me. Checking the list of screening centers, I find the one closest to me and make an appointment for the Saturday after Veteran’s Day. I managed to get the last appointment of the day.Programming the detailsinto my phone calendar, I take a deep breath and decide to not overthink the possibilities at this stage. I’m sure it’s going to be nothing and Dr. Peterson said it’s treatable, so everything should be okay.

I need to calm myself down. I know I’m overreacting for nothing, but I worry about the boys. It’s a lot of pressure being a single mom. Having the responsibility of being the only one there for the kids. Making sure they have everything they need and that all the bills get paid on time. I have sick leave, but I don’t like to use it in case I need extra time off formy boys.

I decide to put it out of my mind for now. Starting the car, I head to the store to get groceries for dinner and lunches for the next few days.

Arriving home, Mom meets me at the door,the creases between her brows quite pronounced. “What did the doctor say?”

“Hello to you too, Mom.” I laugh lightly, carrying the groceries past her into the kitchen. The smell of tuna bake hits my nostrils. I love Mom’s tuna bake. “Thanks for making dinner, Mom. You didn’t need to do that, though I’m thankful you did.” I kiss her cheek, wrapping her in agratefulembrace.

“The boys helped.” She kisses my cheek before pulling back, worryingthe pendant at her throat as she waits patiently for me to spill. I decide to put her out of her misery and tell her what Dr. Peterson thinks it is and what I need to do next. “So, it’s treatable then?”

“Yeah, absolutely.” I’m trying to portray positivity, keeping my voice light. I must be doing adecentjob because Mom’s shoulders relax.

“Oh, that’s good. Whenwillyou go for your scans?”

“The fourteenth. Would you mind watching the boys for me?”

“Of course. You know you don’t need to ask. Just let me know what time and I’ll pop over.” She gives me a side hug. “I’d better head home to get dinner ready for your father.” She grabs her jacket and purse. “Seeya, boys.”

Austin comes running out with Lachlan closebehind. “Bye, Nana!” He wraps his little arms around her waist and she bends down to kiss the top of his head.

“Be good for your mom.”

“We will.”

“Goodbye, Nana.” Mom gives Lachlan a side hug.

“Bye, Sweetie.”

I settle the kids down and we get stuck into their homework. I prepare the lunches for tomorrow, then serve up Mom’s tuna bake. I don’t know why and I’m certainly not going to question it, but even Lachlan loves it.

* * *

I arrive atBreastScreenseveral minutes early—I was so nervous about the appointment that I left home way too early. Sitting in my car, I decide to check social media. I’m giggling at the antics of the people in my favorite group onFacebook. They’re all about leaving no ‘bookwhore’ behind. I can go in there and ask for recommendations about the smuttiest smut and someone always,alwayshas a great recommendation. I get so caughtup in sharingmy favorite books, that I’m almost late for my appointment. Stepping inside, I introduce myself to the woman behind the desk.

“Welcome, Emma. Please complete thispaperwork and hand it back to me. You can take a seat over there.” She gestures to the waiting area across from her desk.

“Thanks.” I take the clipboard and pen over to the seating area to begin completing the forms. They don’t take long and before I know it, I’m handing them back to the woman. I’m so anxious, I can’t keep still. I’ve never had my boobs scanned before and I’m not sure what to expect.

“Emma Miller.” Adifferent womancalls out with a friendly smile, which I’m guessing puts no one at ease. I step toward her. “Hello, Emma.”

“Um, hi.”

“If you’ll follow me, please.” She shows me to a cubicle, directing me to take off my top and bra, replacing them with a loose cotton gown. She comes back to collect me, then takes me intoalow-lit room for my scans. My heart’s beating a million miles a minute and I’m worried the lack of deodorant will soon become obvious with the amount of nervous sweat pouring out of me.

“This is Naomi. She’ll be doing your mammogram today.” I nod my thanks, swallowing down my nerves as she leaves the room.

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