Page 72 of Stolen Kisses

“Hi, Emma. Have you had a mammogram before?” She asks as she motions me toward the large machine. “Please remove your gown.”

“No. Uh, this is my first time,” I answer softly as I remove the gown.

“We try to make it as painless as possible. There will be some pressure applied to each breast as we take the images.” She guides me forward. “Please place your breast on this bottom plate.”

I do as she asks. Naomi handles my breast with tender care as she situates it on the bottom plate the way she needs, before lowering the top plate to take the X-ray. It’s not really all that uncomfortable and it’s over and done with pretty quick. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but this certainly wasn’t it. She repeats the process with my other boob.

“Thank you, that wasn’t half as bad as I was expecting.”

Naomi chuckles.“You’re welcome, I’m glad to hear that.” She smiles at me. “Popyour gown back onandI’ll take you through to the sonographer for your ultrasound.”

I get dressed back into my stylish pink cotton gown and follow Naomi into another room, following her directions to position myself in the chair.

“Hi, I’m your sonographer today. My name’s, Patricia. If you can remove your gown, we can get started.”

I don’t think I’ve ever shown my breasts to this many people in one day. Once I’m naked from the waist up again, Patricia holds up a tube. “Sorry, this’ll be a little cold.” She squirts the clear gel onto my breasts. I remember this from my ultrasounds when I was pregnant with Lachlan and Austin.

“That’s okay.” She uses the wand to spread it evenly over my breasts and then turns to the machine, moving the wand and pressing buttons. She presses in quite hard at the side of my breastcausing me towince.

“Sorry, I have to press quite firmly to get a decent image.”

“I understand. It’s okay, just a little tender.” Watching the screen, I can see parts of the image look different from the rest. That must be where the lymph vessels are blocked.

“While you’re here, we’ll scan the entirety of both breasts. It will help to give the technician a full picture of what is happening.”

I nod. That makessenseI guess. If they look at both breasts, they’ll be able to identify the differences. She finishes up, then cleans the sticky goo from me, before allowing me to redress properly in private.

Patricia guides me to a small room. “If you wouldn’t mind waiting here. Theradiologistwill take a look at both scans, then come out to speak to you about the results.”

“Sure, thank you, Patricia.”

I take a seat, willing my body to settle. The nervous energy running through my system makes it hard to keep still. I pull out my phone to check out social media again in an attempt to distract myself. I’ve been putting all of my stalking skills to the test, but do you think I can find Theo anywhere online? Nope. You’d think he’d have a website or something for his business, but nada! I don’t know how he manages to find new clients. He once told me he mostly relies on word of mouth; happy clients who tell their friends and family.

Scrolling through my feed, I screenshot some interesting-looking reads and recommend a few books here and there. The time seems to drag and because I’m the last patient of the day, I’m alone in the room. I get up and walk around the small space for a bit, looking out of the windows to take up some of the time.

After what feels like forever, a different person steps into the doorway. “Emma?”

Who else am Igonnabe?“Yes, that’s me.”

She holds out her hand, directing me where to go. “If you’ll join me in my office, we’ll go over the results of your scans today.”

Silently, I walk toward the open office door, dread filling my gut. I’ve got a bad feeling about my results. I don’t know why, but I’m certain my life is about to change drastically.

“Please take a seat.” I do as she asks.

“My name is Delta. I’ve been looking at yourscans. Your doctor wanted us to look at your lymph vessels for blockages. There are some minor blockages, as your doctor suspected. You’ll need to return to Dr. Peterson to discuss follow-up treatment.”

I nod, acknowledging the results, releasing a heavy breath. This isn’t a surprise. I had prepared myself for this news. “It’s treatable, right?”

“Oh, most definitely.” She looks down at her hands and I notice they’re clenched tightly together. “Unfortunately, the scan picked up something else that will require further investigation.” My stomach sinks to my feet. The blood rushing to my ears makes it hard to hear her next words. She turns her computer screen around, so we can both see it. Using her pen, she points to the screen. “Here, you can see the blockages on a couple of the vessels near this lymph node which is causing your discomfort. You may find lymphatic drainage massage helps to treat this.” She clears her throat, thenpoints to thefront part of my breast. “See these small irregular-shaped clusters here?” She moves her pen to the other breast. “And here?”

I nod slowly, my eyes locked on the screen. “These are what we call microcalcifications. These occur as a result of old cancer cells dying. Minuscule specks of calcium form within the dead cells.” There seems to be a lot of them scattered throughout both breasts—more in the right than the left.

“What does that mean exactly?” My voice is shaky. “Does that mean I had cancer, but the cancer cells died and now it’s gone?”

“Not exactly. I believe we’re looking atductal carcinoma in situ. This is cancer which has formedinsideyour breast ducts. At this point, I don’t believe it’s spread outside of the duct, which is the best possible scenario. However, from these images, it looks as though nearly all of your ducts in both breasts are affected. I can’t give you a definite diagnosis today.”

Well, I’m glad she thinks me having cancer in my breasts is the best possible scenario.

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