Page 101 of Live Like Legends

“Yeah, I know, but they wanted to tell you again. I don’t think they’ll ever stop being eternally grateful.”

I placed my hand on top of his. “It’s really not necessary.” I let out a strained laugh. “It was a piece of a cake over there.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Okay….well, Leah wanted you to know that the kids are calling you their hero…”

“Can we not do that please?” I said quickly, pushing off of the bed. My heart was beating so hard that my chest hurt. “I am happy they're okay and safe, but Axel is also the one who stayed in that cell with them and calmed them down. They can callAxeltheir hero. I’m someone who just sat there and…” I started to pace, holding the arrowhead tight in my grip.

“Woah, Dani, no one is saying you just sat there…”

“Idid, though. Every option was blocked by a consequence,” I muttered, letting out a heavy sigh before walking to the door. I needed to get out of here, anywhere that didn’t have me almost spewing my entire thought process to Nick.

I pulled the door open a tiny bit, before it was slammed closed and Nick stood in front of me, blocking my way. “Please, stop.”

“Move.”

“No.”

“Nick.”

“No.”

I let out a groan, turning slightly and walking over to his dresser. I placed the arrowhead on top, looking at it. I gripped the edge of the wood, hearing it whine under my hold. I kept my eyes on the lucky charm as I spoke. “You don’t get it. And it’s okay that you don’t because you grew up with the ideals of savingpeople and helping those around you. Those kinds of things made you happy and stronger.”

He leaned against his door, listening.

I licked my lips. “Destruction and mocking those that ended up in my presence, those that had to endure suffering at my hands…that gave me strength, it made me happy. And then I started to…” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I started to care about other things, other people. I wanted what I wanted, but I also felt the need to give a flying fuck about everyone else. That way of thinking didn’t burn me like I thought it might, so I let myself lean into it. I could have both, the violent, lethal side and the side that cared and…” I glanced over at him, finding that he was staring at me, “fell in love.”

I shook my head. “Then I was locked up by Dimitri. My intentions were to get out, fight him but then he took that away. He dangled a family in my face and had me holding my power back. Lilith and Dimitri, they both taunted and toyed with me, any emotion I had was contorted and what I wanted, what I had to do just kept changing or getting further away from me.” I looked down at the ground, feeling my chest tighten. “I could sit there and suppress my power, letting him cause me so much pain in hopes of giving myself and everyone else more time, or I could give in and let him drag me towards destroying everything. He’d said he would let Garrett’s family go, but what about everyone else I cared about.”

“Dani...”

“Heroism looks so nice from the outside, you know? The act of saving someone looks so simple as if the choices are easily defined. No one tells you that sacrificing your own strength can be an option if it means others get to see another day.” I ran my tongue over my front teeth. “I thought about how easy things would have been if I hadn’t opened my heart to you, the light, or anyone else. I thought about how I would have adored Dimitri’splan forever ago; I would have thrived off of it, but no, Icarefar too much for that now.”

I saw Nick run a hand down his face, keeping his hand over his mouth. I knew he was so eager to speak, but he kept quiet.

“Sitting there in a dormant state, pretending that I had no idea how to use my powers put Leah and them in danger, so little by little I had to bide my time and show Dimitri and Lilithsomething.” I clenched my teeth together, nearly seething out my next words. “Hour after hour, it wastorment, Nick.”

I reached up and touched my neck gently. “I canhandletorture, but it was like he was dangling who I was, who I am and what I could be in front of me, masking it together in this hopeful bloody mess that had me screaming with pride and crying in pain. I kept trying to figure out how I could save myself, but nothing seemed plausible. If I made a move to use my power to kill him then that would make matters worse…I just…”

He reached his hand out to touch my arm, but I moved away. I turned to look at him, my chest rising and falling as I heaved out breath after breath. “Eventually I let him see it all. I didn’t mean to, or maybe I did. I don’t know, but when it happened, it felt good. I didn’t want to keep who I was hidden, but then what did that mean? Now I’d fucked everyone!” I heard my voice get louder, but I just didn’t care. “Leah and her kids didn’t have any more time to justwaitfor me to figure my shit out; I was going to be forced to become one half of a powerful duo I had no interest in being a part of and my only option now, theonlything I had left was…” My voice cracked before I could finish my sentence. I stepped over to the center of the room, turning my back to him. I crossed my arms over my chest, realizing I was shaking.

“Was what, Dani?” Nick whispered. I felt him coming up behind me, but he didn’t touch me.

I pressed my eyes closed, dropping my head and feeling my hair fall around my face. “You.”

I slowly turned around, wrapping my arms tighter around myself. He tilted his head to the side, but his eyes looked concerned and confused. “Me?”

“Theonlything I had left was waiting for you.”

He searched my face as if he was trying to understand what I was saying.

“In the end all I could do was sit on my ass and wait to be saved by the completely endearing, heroically well-brought up angel that I’m so fucking in love with that I damn near hate myself for even…. I didn’t…” I placed my hands over my face, feeling so many emotions boil inside of me. I removed my hands, running them through my hair and ripping my fingers through a tangle. “There was a time that I didn’twantyou to save me. Maybe it was for your own good or maybe it was me wanting you to stay put so I wouldn’t be forced to feel like such a fucking damsel in distress.”

I pointed my finger at him. “I. Am. Not. And I never will be.”

“I know you aren’t,” Nick answered, nodding.

I looked up at him, the smell of worry and love wafting off of him. It was heady and I wanted to bury my face in his arms, but—not yet.

---