Page 86 of Not Catching Love

I don’t want to live like that.

So on the way here, I picked up the medication that I swore I’d never take again. It’s a different brand from when I was younger, so I have to trust that things will be different this time.

Still, I surge ahead until I’m in the middle of Derek’s living room, then set the easel down and rest the pad on top of it.

His front door clicks closed, and it’s like a vacuum pulls tight around us. “I’ve missed you.”

My resolve immediately crumbles. “I missed you too.”

Derek takes two steps closer, and I hold up both hands. “I’m gonna need to stop you right there. If you touch me, I might maul you because I’m still feeling extra sensitive, and the thought of having sex with you is so goddamn tempting right now.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Yes. Sit, please.”

Derek redirects to the couch.

“That’s better.” I suck down a deep breath and pull the lid off one of the markers I’ve brought with me. Then, across the top of the page, I label three columns. One with “rules” and the other with yes and no.

“What’s this?”

“Yeah, I’m going to need you not to talk either. Your voice is way too sexy and should be illegal.”

He laughs.

“Laughing is also off the table.”

“Wha—Xander!”

I grin at him over my shoulder, and thank fuck he looks amused. “What?” I ask innocently. “Out of the two of us, you’re the one who’s sex on legs.”

His gaze immediately drops to take me in. “Yeah, that is definitely not true.” And with the stuff my wet dreams are made of, he presses down on his dick.

“Enough of that, you slutty muppet.”

Derek laughs louder this time, and somehow, it’s even worse. I need to get through this list before it kills me.

“I’m here today for us to draw up ground rules for our relationship,” I tell him. In the first column, I write the word “boyfriend,” and then before he can chime in, I tick yes. “Now, I know this can’t be public or official or anything like that, but I have my reasons for this.”

He stretches his arms out across the back of his couch, and fuck me. Is that the hottest move a man can make? It might just be.

“Arms down, please. I need my blood up here.” I tap my temple, and Derek immediately tucks his hands behind his back. But then that only makes his shoulders rounder. I’m screwed. “You know what, I’m going to talk to the paper.”

“If that’s what you need to do.”

“Yes. So. Boyfriends. Now, the reason I want to use this word is because Seven and Molly basically heard you confessyour undying love for me anyway, and second, I hardly leave the house and don’t have friends beyond them, so I literally have no one to tell. No risk. And for you, obviously you won’t say anything at work, but my friends know, and Manny one hundred percent guessed it, so he’ll be cool too.”

“Uh-huh.”

“We’re basically that anyway, minus the sex.” The longer he doesn’t say anything, the faster my doubts creep in.

“And calling me your boyfriend is important to you?” he asks.

Damn, I love his voice so much. So smooth and deep, it was always the thing that helped anchor me through my hardest moments. “Yes. I’ve never had a boyfriend before. Apparently, I have the trust issues of a wet paper bag, so I really want to know what it’s like. With you.”

“Deal. Boyfriends.”

I barely hold back a fucking squeal. Be cool, Xander. We’ve got this.

---