Page 68 of Not Catching Love

“I thought medical professionals were supposed to be smart. Everyone iseveryone.”

“Is Seven everyone?”

“Probably.”

“And Molly.”

Does he not know what everyone means? “Of course Molly.”

“So everyone thinks you’re annoying and worthless?”

“Yup.”

He lets that sink in for a moment. “What if I told you that I don’t?”

“Then I’d ask why you’re bothering to lie to me. I’m not offended by people thinking I’m a shitty person. It is what it is.”

Derek pinches my chin and steers my face until it’s right in front of mine. “You’re not a shitty person. Sometimes you act like it when you remember to, but I’ve seen your guard down way too many times to believe it. I’m sorry we can’t have a relationship. I’m sorry this can’t be more for us. But if we’re going to continue to hang out and try to stay friends, I need that to stop.”

“You want me to change my whole personality for you?”

“No. I want you to stop forcing this mean-boy personafor you. I’m sorry people have hurt you. You don’t deserve any of it. But that also doesn’t mean you should keep hurting yourself. All I can see is anincredibleperson punishing himself for something that wasn’t his fault.”

“Stop using that word.”

“No.”

The finality in his tone hits something behind my ribs. “You won’t?”

“I won’t.”

“Even though I don’t like it?”

“Why does it make you so uncomfortable?”

“Because it’s not true.”

Derek pulls me down against his chest, and I melt into his arms. Our cum is dried to his stomach, and the scent of sex is strong. I think I’m already addicted to it. “It’s true. And one day, I’m determined to make you believe it.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

Derek

Hanging out with Xander is the hardest thing I’ve ever fucking done. He said he couldn’t ever be friends with me, and I know what he means, but for now, we’re existing in this weird sort of limbo where we both want each other and we both want more, but we’re pretending that side of us doesn’t exist.

Xander glances up from where he’s snuggled under my arm. “You’re finally going to show me your house?”

Okay, we’resort ofpretending it doesn’t exist. Or, more accurately, we’re ignoring the fact that we know it exists and will take every opportunity to touch each other platonically. Xander craves being touched. He craves being close. I’ve noticed it with Seven and Molly, too, when we all hang out together, and I figure if he can snuggle up to them and it not mean anything sexual, then there’s no reason why he can’t snuggle up to me.

“You’re going to judge me,” I warn him.

“Duh. That’s the whole point of seeing someone else’s house. To make a snap judgment about them and their whole personality.”

“You’re not doing a single thing to make me feel better about this decision.”

“Good, because I’m not trying to. Now, show me. I can’t wait to be right about it being a hovel.”

“It’s not a fucking hovel,” I grumble, unwrapping my arm from his shoulders to unlock the door.

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