Page 112 of Not Catching Love

“I think … it’s amazing. Big. Probably too far from Seattle if you stay at the pharmacy, but think about how many bugs you’ll find up here.” I’m teasing at first when an idea hits me. “Hey! Bees. There’s more than enough space here for you to get your bees. That was on your dream board.”

His eyes are creased sweetly. “It was. I thought the same thing when I first saw this place.”

“You can make your own honey, and Molly will design a logo for you. That would be so cute.”

“It would. I thought the hives could be set up further down by those trees.”

I’m relieved, because while I love that he gets to do something he’s passionate about, I’m still not on board with being a bug lover. The further the bees are from me, the better. I’ll help them out by eating their honey.

“We’ll need a decent-sized house,” he continues. “We’ve got to make sure you have a large art room. Maybe with windows the whole way around, unlike the one you have now.”

“The more light there is, the more I can see my flaws,” I point out to him. “Why do you think I work in the dark?”

“Maybe you wouldn’t think your work was so shitty if you could see it properly?”

He’s got me there. I can see it, obviously, but I just … prefer not to. Then I don’t feel bad about charging people my prices and sending something horrible. Sherwin mentally slaps mefor that one. Apparently, self-hatred isn’t a thing most people do, and he wants me to work on it. Go figure.

As much as I love the picture of bees and a house and a big open paint room, it doesn’t feel complete.

“Maybe a pool,” Derek continues, raising our joined hands to point. “And then there’s plenty of room for the second house to go there.”

I nod along with his vision, and it takes me a moment to process it. “Second … house?”

“Yeah. Or we make the main house big enough for all of us—I’m easy either way. I know Molly wants lots of kids, and you’re not a big child person, so the two houses might be …” He trails off. “Are you okay?”

AmI? My mouth is hanging open, and there’s a deep pressure settling over my chest. My heart is beating faster, and I feel all weird and light-headed.

But it’s not a panic attack.

“Molly?” I ask, voice sounding wet.

“And Seven.”

“A secondhouse?”

Derek pulls a face. “I know, I’m being ambitious. It’ll cost a lot, so we’ll have to see what we can work out. Maybe save the pool for further down the track and?—”

“You know the cost isn’t what I’m freaking out about!”

He drops the act and steps forward, tucking my hair behind both ears. “They’re yours,” he whispers. “So they’re mine. Did you really think I’d be okay with you moving all the way out here without them?”

“You … you want them here?”

“Of course.” He almost sounds surprised I asked. “It wouldn’t be the same without them. I thought this would make you happy … you look like you’re about to cry.”

I sniff. “Of course I’m about to cry. I was so scared to leavethem. Do you mean it?” Then, a horrible thought hits me. “What if they say no?”

Derek ducks his head, and when he glances up, there’s an apology all over his face. “I brought Seven here yesterday. I knew they’d be on board, but I wanted to make sure of it before I mentioned it to you.”

“And he said yes?”

His lips hitch. “Got as choked up as you have.”

I throw myself into his arms, not sure what the fuck I did to deserve him. It doesn’t feel real. It’s too hard to wrap my head around. Getting to call this place home is one thing. It actuallybeinghome because I have the people I love most here with me is another.

Derek’s giving me all that.

Derek’s doing exactly what he said he would and is trying to make me happy.

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