Page 81 of Just Bromantically Invested

“Sounds like you and Damien have been having great talks.”

He doesn’t answer me, and it takes a second for me to recognize the bitterness in my own voice.

Jesus.

“Sorry,” I hurry to add. “I’m just curious why you didn’t talk to me about it?”

“I am now. It didn’t occur to me that we needed to have this conversation until it was pointed out to me.”

“He pointed that out?” The fact they’re sitting around discussing me has my back up.

Madden’s grip on my hand tightens. “Just to check we’re both on the same page.”

“And if we’re not?”

I’ve stunned him into silence. “Then … then we … I don’t know.”

Neither do I. Because when it comes right down to it, I don’t know how I feel thinking about Madden being naked with other attractive men.

Scratch that—I know how I feel. I feel fucking jealous.

It’s the last thing I want, because I trust Madden completely, so why the fuck is that feeling kicking in now? It won’t even go away when I really, trulywantit to go away.

“I support you, but I can’t promise things won’t change.” It’s the only honest answer I can give him. “Boundaries areallowed to change, Madden. People change. It’s … it’s normal.”

“Yeah.” It’s not the answer he wants though. “Can you at least keep me updated if it happens?”

“Of course. But … who you are, who I’m dating. I support you completely.”

Around his friends and at home and even at Peach Acres, I know who Madden is. I love that he has these places he can be himself. More than that … I want to tell him it won’t make a difference to me. That I’ll go with the flow and be there for him, but I’m a chronic overthinker, and that’s going to need a lot of thinking about.

I want to be there for him through everything. I won’t know if I can do that until it happens.

Chapter 29

Madden

I wait while Derek checks Xander over. He’s slumped over, eyes void of the tattoo liner, holding a glazed, far-off look, and he’s the least like Xander I’ve ever seen him look.

I’m also the least like me I’ve ever felt. I’m getting frustrated. It’s past eight, and I was the only one home to drive Xander into the pharmacy when he broke down, convinced that he had lung cancer.

My heart hurts for him while my head has had enough.

He’s got issues, so why the hell isn’t he doing something about it? He’s only getting worse.

And that’s me taking my own frustrations out on him. I take a steadying breath and card my fingers through my hair. I want to get over to Penn’s. I texted him about what was going on, and I know he understands, but we’re supposed to have Tuesday nights together. I’m trying not to be impatient orirritable, but after our conversation this morning, I need some reassurance from him that we’re okay.

He’s everything I want, and I’m scared that I’m going to have to choose between holding myself back and him. Both of those options are equally terrifying.

The thing is, once Peach Acres is up and running, I might not have any need to go anywhere else. That’s the ideal scenario. The opposite could happen though, where if I’m confident and happy there, I’ll be less stressed about it everywhere else.

Truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to handle the judgment, so I don’t think Penn has anything to worry about, but it’s a possibility. I needed to know how he’d respond to that.

I respect him for not lying, but couldn’t he have at least tried? For me? I’m cool with living in delusion.

“Hey.” I look over at Derek’s stern voice. He’s watching Xander, who’s watching the wall. “Talk to me.”

“You said I’m fine,” Xander says weakly.

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