Page 84 of Both Sides Now

The morning sunstreams through the windows, basking the room in a warm glow. I reach over to stroke Keegan’s skin, but find his side of the bed empty.

With a stretch, I pull on my robe and pad into the kitchen, smiling as the smell of freshly brewed coffee hits my nostrils.

Glancing out the French doors, I see Keegan walking along the shoreline, his phone at his ear. The poor man. Try as he might, he never gets a day off.

That’s the price you pay for being a genius in your field.

At least, that’s what I’ve heard.

After our wedding weekend, I shelved all future visits with Dr. Russo.

It didn’t seem right.

Do I still want a child? Absolutely.

Do I still want Charlie’s child? God, I want to give my husband the legacy he deserves. The world lost an incredible man when he died. By having his baby, I could carry on some small part of him for the ages.

But where would that option leave Keegan and me?

Do I want a baby with Keegan? Desperately. More and more, every day.

But we don’t discuss the future. Per his own admission when we first met, a wife and family are not something he wants. I'm terrified to discover if he's changed his stance on that.

Talk about a situation with no easy answer. I’m desperate to become a mother, but the man who wanted to give me a child is gone, and the man who can give me a child now has no desire for a family.

It leaves me a bit of nowhere. Doesn't help that I'm ovulating, and my hormones are already in an uproar.

With a deep breath, I strive to find my center. I have so much to be thankful for and there’s power in gratitude.

The screen door slams, and powerful arms wrap around my waist, engulfing me in a hug. "Good morning, beautiful."

"Morning, doctor. You're up early. Patient emergency?”

He grabs a cup of coffee, sitting opposite me at the breakfast bar. "Thankfully, in my specialty, there aren't many emergencies. But it was work related."

Keegan doesn't offer any additional information, and I'm not one to pry. Not my style.

“This weekend is not about work, sir,” I admonish with a grin. “Don’t make me punish you.”

“Please do.”

"What's our plan for today? Lazing around?"

Keegan shakes his head. “I thought we’d spend a couple ofhours walking around the seaport. Then, I’ll cook us a proper New England dinner tonight. Sound good?”

Yet another thing I adore about Keegan: he makes decisions. He doesn't waffle, offering useless responses like 'it's up to you' or 'whatever you want.' If I ask for an opinion, he offers one. Every time. I'll admit, it's led to some interesting debates, but I adore his dominant personality.

Such a change from Charlie's laid back disposition. With my husband, it was all about making me happy.

With Keegan, it’s about compromise. He challenges me.

I grin and grab the eggs from the fridge. “It sounds perfect. Since you’re cooking dinner, I’ll handle breakfast.”

It was a perfect day.Good to his word, we wandered the seaport, visiting more museums and stores than I can count. After a lunch on the water, coupled with a few cocktails, I felt extra giddy and insisted on partaking in every tourist trap available.

Thankfully, my boyfriend was a good sport, snapping off several shots of my silliness. But then, just for him, I threw in a few seductive poses, with a come-hither expression on my face and a skirt that barely covered my assets.

I got a rise out of Keegan. In thebestway possible.

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