Page 83 of Both Sides Now

I run my fingers through his hair, drinking him in, and know one thing for certain. I love him, more than I dreamt possible, even though I haven’t found the courage to tell him.

I suppose some part of me clings to survivor's guilt, an idea that I don't deserve to be happy since Charlie doesn’t have that option any longer. But that feeling lessens each day I spend with Keegan, and for the first time in a long time, I love life again.

So, I made myself a deal. The next time Keegan told me he loved me, I would respond in kind.

I’m still waiting.

Looks like I’ll have to make the first move, which terrifies me to no end. And I refuse to reveal such an integral statement while under the influence, even though a shot of whiskey would definitely allay my nerves.

Because it’s not just about lovingme. It’s about wanting a life with me. My biological clock keeps ticking and I still want a family. Keegan would be an incredible husband and father, even though he’d likely prefer swallowing nails than admitting that fact.

But this weekend is not about worry or fear. It’s about love. Big, beautiful, bountiful love.

I’ve got Keegan to thank for that.

He pulls down a small side road, with the water on one side and a row of cottages on the other. "Here we are."

With a squeal of delight, I hop from his Jeep. It's adorable. Small and quaint with a killer view of the water and a hot tub just beckoning to be enjoyed. "This is perfect."

"You're perfect." He wraps an arm around my waist, leading me up the steps.

I used to argue with him when he showered me with compliments. But not today. Today, I'll be his perfect goddess—one with a very important request. "How about you pour us some drinks while I slip into something more comfortable?"

With a whoop, he slings me over his shoulder, kicking the front door closed. "Drinks can wait. I have something far more pressing that requires my attention.”

Our house tour just got a detour.

I giggle as he walks to the far end of the cottage and deposits me on the bed, his large frame moving on top of me. His slants his mouth over mine to claim me in a deep, possessive kiss and I strain toward him, desperate to be closer.

A small smile plays on my lips when he drags his mouth lower, teasing that talented tongue along the curve of my breasts.

I moan and wrap my legs around his waist, earning a knowing smirk from my man. Keegan loves getting me excited, but he refuses to rush in his exploration. Torturing me is his favorite pastime.

He pushes my skirt to my waist, dragging wet kisses across my abdomen.

I wind my fingers in his hair, relishing every moment as my body lights up like a Christmas tree. This all encompassing, blinding emotion.

I felt love with Charlie. Deep, beautiful love.

But this, this is even more powerful. I burn for Keegan.

Tell him you love him.

I know I do. Now I have to say the words aloud, breathing them into life. But what will that declaration mean for the two of us?

"Hey, whatever you're thinking, stop." Keegan shoots me awarning look, his hands skating up my legs to hook my g-string.

Damn this man's intuition. But he's right. I can worry about the future when it arrives. Right now, I'm all about the pleasure—and Keegan gives me that in spades.

Cracking a saucy grin, I grab the hem of my dress, pulling it over my head. "Maybe I was thinking how good your head looks between my legs."

My statement unhinges him in the best way. A fire flashes in his baby blues as he dips his head, his clever tongue flicking against my clit. "So glad you enjoy this position. I plan on staying here all night."

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I whisper, my hips bucking against his mouth.

“Watch me.” It’s his only reply as his hands band under my thighs, pulling me flush to him.

With a heated sigh, I release any worries, and cave to his demands.

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