Page 149 of Catch the Sun

“Well, I didn’t wake up for four weeks. Four weeks!” I seethe, tears sneaking through and pouring down my cheeks. My face is hot, furious. “Nothing you say is going to fix this.”

“I just…I need you to keep quiet. I’m begging you not to tell anyone.” He steps closer, eyes glinting with ice and fire, arms shaking at his sides. “I’ll do anything. Anything you want.”

“I don’t want anything from you.”

“There has to be something.” He reaches his hand out tentatively, but I slap it away like it’s a deadly weapon. “You haven’t gone to the police yet, and there’s a reason for that. All I’m asking is that you hold on to that reason, whatever it is. I think you know, deep down, that I’m not a monster. I’m human. I royally fucked up and I promise I’m suffering the consequences. The guilt is killing me.”

“Thefearis killing you,” I correct, putting more space between us. “The fear of getting caught.”

“No. It’s more than that. I regret every second of that night.” His throat works through a hard swallow as he glances down at his feet, then back up atme. “Please…keep this between us. If you wanted to rat me out, you would have already. You know I don’t deserve to go to prison.”

I stare at him, feeling numb. Feeling beaten down and torn. “Let me make something perfectly clear,” I bite out, my balance unsteady as I try not to fall. “I’m not protecting you. I’m protecting Max. I’m protecting that amazing, beautiful,incredibleman, who is more of a man than you will ever be.” I jab a finger at him, my skin flushed hot, breathing erratic. “Shame on you for taking something precious away from him when all he ever did was love you. And you did, McKay. You stole from him. You succeeded tenfold because you ruined me. The girl he knew is long gone.” I close my eyes through the pain, more tears leaking out. “And he doesn’t even know why.”

His blue eyes shimmer as the rainfall swells. Fat droplets tumble down, splashing across his hair and skin. Blinking the tears away, he swipes a hand down his face, forehead to chin, looking genuinely devastated. “I’m so sorry,” he chokes out. “I am. Max has been my best friend from the moment my eyes opened, and the last thing I ever want to do is cause him pain. You two can fix this. You can—”

“Every time I look at him, I seeyou.” My breath catches on a whimper as my teeth chatter hopelessly. “I’ve read hundreds and hundreds of books in my lifetime and nothing—nothing—could ever paint a tragedy like the one I’m living.”

His face falls. His shoulders sag.

Rain drenches us in the sky’s cold tears.

McKay closes his eyes and stares down at the damp grass, blowing out a long breath as he digests my words. A heavy moment trudges by before he whispers, “Okay.” Another beat passes. “Turn me in.”

“I—” My words fall off when the statement fully registers. I blink at him, my lips parting on a startled breath. “What?”

“Turn me in,” he repeats, nodding slowly, coming to terms with his plea. “Do it. It’s the right thing.”

I’m stunned silent.

“Tell Max everything,” he continues. “Talk to him first. He should hear it from you. And then go to the cops and turn me in. Or I’ll do it. I will. Just…talk to Max first.”

Thunder booms above us, crackling in the sky. My lips tremble from the chill, from indecision, from absolute misery. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know what to do.

I tent my hands over my face, squeezing my eyes shut as mourning rakes through me.

“I’m sorry, Ella. For everything.”

When I peel my eyes open, McKay is already moving away, stepping backward. His face crumbles before he swivels around and runs full speed in the other direction, heading toward his house. I watch him go, watch him cross the street, then disappear through his front door.

I tip my face to the sky and let the rain pelt me. I beg it for answers. I pray for direction.

McKayshouldpay for what he did to me.

But…

The one who will pay the ultimate price…is Max.

Some secrets are worth keeping. Some truths are better left buried.

And ultimately, some tragedies are worth living in order to protect the ones you love.

After only just getting Jonah back, I can’t bear to lose someone else.

Minutes pass as I stand along the side of my house with rain-soaked hair and wildflowers sprinkled at my feet. I stand there long enough to see Max’s truck pull in the driveway, tires splashing up rainwater puddles. There’s a lump in my throat as I watch him hop out of the truck and stalk through the grass with his backpack slung over one shoulder before he enters the house.

I could tell him. I could go over there right now and confess everything.

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