Page 148 of Catch the Sun

I’ve hardly had a chance to move when he calls out to me. “Ella, wait. I just want to talk to you.”

I freeze in place.

Mom went back to work today after I promised her I’d be fine on my own. Jonah is on his way home from Charlotte, having left to grab the rest of his belongings so he can officially move back in. Max is still at school.

If McKay intends to hurt me, it wouldn’t be hard, even if I do manage to lock myself inside the house. My heart beats swiftly, my stomach pitching with telltale fear. I knew this moment would come. He can’t hide away forever.

I curl my fingers around the handful of green stems and try to center my breathing. “Leave me alone. I’ll call the police.” My cell phone is inside but he doesn’t know that.

“Please, give me a chance to explain.”

My eyes pop as he jogs the rest of the way over to me. “Explain?” I scoff with astoundment. He’s too close. Only a few feet away from me now. Panic crawls through me, dozens of fire ants biting at my insides.

“I need to talk to you,” he says, looking around, assessing the quiet street. It’s midday on a Tuesday; most adults are at work, kids are in classes. He should be in class, too. “Please.”

The flowers flutter from my clammy hand.

My whole body erupts with tremors.

“You need to leave,” I demand. “Right now. Don’t come near me again.”

His shoulder-length hair catches on a storm-charged wind that whips through, sashaying among the treetops. He looks gaunter, sickly. The weight of his secret glows heavily in his eyes. Eyes that are rimmed with dark, hollow circles. Once-bronzed skin is now chalky and bloodless as he scratches at his cheek, fidgeting on both feet. “I was drunk. Out of my head. I hardly remember it happening.”

My bottom lip wobbles. “I can jog your memory.”

He presses his lips into a flat line.

“First, you tried to kiss me,” I tell him. “When I resisted, completely disgusted, you grabbed me, hurt me, bruised me, then tried to rape me.”

“That’s an exaggeration.”

“Don’t gaslight me,” I hiss back, anger and terror tunneling out my chest. “You pried my legs apart. Hiked up my dress and pulled your zipper down. Pinned me to the ground. And when I fought back, you fought harder. You yanked me toward the edge of the bluffs and then you let me fall. You almost killed me.”

“It was an accident.”

“You could have stopped it. You were right there, close enough to pull me back.” Hot tears blanket my eyes, but I force them back. “You were jealous that your brother had something special. You were angry that you had no direction in life. You took it out on me.”

“I didn’t—”

“You left me for dead!” I screech.

McKay shoots forward, getting right in my face. “Be quiet,” he grits through his teeth. “Someone will hear you.”

Bitter memories flash across my mind—of his hand lashing out and covering my mouth, holding in my cries, my screams. Before I can shove him or slam my knuckles at his teeth, he jumps back, shaking his head.

“Sorry, sorry…” he tries, holding both hands up, palms forward. Sweat gleams on his forehead as raindrops sprinkle down from the clouds. “I’m just…I’m freaking the fuck out. I can’t go to jail. Ican’t. It was a mistake, Ella…anawful, horrible mistake that I wish I could take back. I’d do it all differently, I swear.”

I step away from him, almost stumbling when I trip over hedges. “I trusted you.”

“I know… God, I know. I’m so damn sorry. You have to believe me, that’s not who I am. I drank too much, got carried away, and then I panicked when I thought you were going to run off and tell somebody. I didn’t push you. I just…”

“You just tried to rape me,” I provide. “Then you watched as I plummeted to a likely death and forgot to call for help.”

He grips his hair, swinging his head back and forth as his teeth gnash together. “I thought you were dead.”

“You hoped I was.”

“I was fucking wasted, Ella! I don’t even remember how I got home. Think I slept it off in my truck in some parking lot, then I woke up the next morning hardly remembering what had happened.”