Page 112 of Catch the Sun

“You’re not,” he mutters. “But you’re not a terrible listener.”

“I’ll take it.”

We walk in tandem for a few minutes, sticks and leaves crunching under the soles of our shoes. McKay’s balance is unsteady as he swats bare branches out of his way and staggers left and right. He doesn’t say anything, so my lone skill as a semi-decent listener feels wasted.

The path through the woods is inclined, causing my calves to ache and the bottoms of my feet to throb through the thin shoes. I’m in no position to be hiking right now. I glance at McKay, still trying to keep up with his longer strides. “We should probably head back. How drunk are you, anyway?”

“Not enough.” He ducks underneath a leafless branch. “What has she said about me?”

“Brynn?” I wonder.

“Obviously.”

We make our way through the thick trees until we come out near a sloped bluff overlooking Tellico Lake. Moonlight serves as an eerie flashlight, castinga glow on the still water. “She’s really upset. She was crying all night before we got to the party.”

His breath is a tangible cloud when he exhales. “Not what I asked.”

My throat tightens through a swallow. Our feet come to a stop and McKay falls to a sitting position just before we meet the edge of the promontory, collapsing with a graceless plop. I follow suit, taking a seat beside him and crossing my legs. “She just said that it wasn’t going to work out. She said you were acting jealous over Kai and things were tense. She’s leaving for Florida in a few months, and you’re staying behind, so breaking up felt like the right thing to do.”

“Jealous,” he mutters with contempt. “You think? They’ve been all over each other since he moved here. It’s impossible not to feel pissed off and hurt when I’m constantly catching them together, flirting and making moon eyes at each other.”

I pick at the blades of grass. It’s not my place to speak on my friend’s behalf, so all I say is, “I’m sorry you’re hurting. I know it sucks.”

Grumbling, he pulls something out of his front pocket. It’s a miniature liquor bottle that he quickly pops open, then tips back, drinking it all in one swallow. “It won’t last between you and my brother, you know.”

I frown. “Why not?”

“He’s never had a girlfriend before. He’s completely clueless.”

“I don’t think that matters. I’ve never been in a relationship, either.”

“You guys fuck yet?”

I blink over at him, my cheeks warming despite the chill in the air. “That’s none of your business.”

He shrugs, spinning the empty bottle between his fingers. “Just a question. You don’t strike me as a prude.”

I tinker with the hems of my sleeves and fold my arms, looking back down at the grass. “No. We haven’t.”

“How come?”

“I haven’t felt ready yet. Romance was never a part of my plan, so I’m taking it slow.” I feel him staring at me, waiting for more. “Sex complicates things. It makes it harder to let go, and I wasn’t sure what direction we were going inafter graduation.”

He makes a humming sound. “Well, congratulations, he’s whipped.” McKay flicks the bottle aside, then kicks it over the ledge of the bluff with his shoe. It makes a tinkling sound as it plummets down below, reminding us of how high up we are. “Tell me, Sunbury…what makes him better than me?”

My arms cross tighter across my chest. “Nothing. You’re just different.”

“We’re nearly identical.”

“Your personalities are different. You’re not the same person.”

“So, what makes him better than me?” McKay takes out a second bottle of liquor and downs it, tossing the empty glass beside him.

Then he slowly cants his head in my direction, his eyes looking cloudy and glazed against the moonlight. I’m not sure how to respond to the question without upsetting him further. I can’t put a definition on a feeling. Max speaks to my soul. He complements me in all the best ways.

Inhaling a breath, I look over at him and our eyes meet. “He saw me when no one else did,” I murmur. “He heard my truth when everybody around me whispered gossip and lies. He wanted to knowme…not the rumors. Not my past. Just…Ella.” I watch his brows dip with a thoughtful expression. “Max found me when I was lost,” I tell him gently. “And I think that’s the only way to recognize your real home. You need to be lost first. You need to be wandering, forgotten, misplaced. Only then will you truly know where you belong.”

My heart twists with epiphany. With realization. My pulse speeds up and my breaths falter as the weight of my words trickle through me like a warm waterfall.

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