Page 111 of Catch the Sun

He pauses mid-sip and slowly lowers the bottle, his head tilting slightly until I appear in his periphery.

“I didn’t think I’d see you here.”

“Mmm. Can’t find any place I belong these days.”

My ballet flats smash along the chill-laden grass. I’ve never been great at comforting people and that’s probably because I’ve never been a notable source of comfort. It’s hard to be sunshine in someone’s cloudy sky whenyou’rea dreary gray cloud.

I glance out at the lake, the water calm and free of ripples. When I’m standing right beside him, I hug myself tighter to counter the biting temperature and let out a sigh, my breath falling out in a plume of white. “Not belonging anywhere is relatable,” I tell him. “If you need someone to talk to, I’m willing to offer up my dubious services. No guarantees, no refunds.”

He looks up at me, his eyes glazed and intoxicated. “Why would I want to talk to you?”

“Valid point.”

“No offense,” he adds, taking another swig of beer.

“None taken. Which, might I add, could be a reason in itself. I’m impossible to offend. If I’m part of your problem, you can ambush me with your anger and misery and I’ll take it like a champ.” I flash him a smile of forced enthusiasm. “Give it a shot. Do your worst.”

His eyes narrow through the lowlight as he stares up at me. “You’re kind of weird.”

“Love that. Keep going.”

“Off-putting, too.”

“Part of my charm, if I have any at all.”

“I’m not entirely sure what my brother sees in you.”

“Right there with you.”

A partial smile slips as McKay looks up at me, his beer bottle half-tipped over in the grass. When he peers back down at the ground, the smile fades. “He wants to leave town with you after graduation and I don’t understand it. He promised that he’d leave with me.Me,” he says, agony lacing his words. “He barely knows you and I’m his twin brother. It’s bullshit. It’s not fair. He says I’ve abandoned him, but he’s never once tried to chase me down or win me back. He’s never fought, never made me believe we’re a team…so why bother? Why fight for a father who doesn’t even know I exist? Why rebuild a house that has never felt like a home?” He closes his eyes and lets out a rattled breath. “I thought I was the endgame, the grand plan…but I guess I’ve always been thebackupplan. I was there until something better came along.” When he glances up, his dark-blue eyes look black. “You came along, Ella.You’rethe endgame.”

My heart stutters.

It gallops with surprise, because I didn’t know Max wanted to leave town with me.

It teeters with guilt, because now McKay is an innocent casualty in our escape.

And I know what that’s like. I understand what it feels like to be abandoned and overlooked by the people you love. The people you trust. The ones who always said they’d be there.

I blink back the mist glazing my eyes and duck my chin.

I’m not offended… I’m just sad.

I’m sad for McKay.

Shaking his head, he pulls himself up from the grass on wobbly legs, leaving the near-empty beer bottle behind. He sweeps past me, smelling like booze and cheap cologne. “Let’s go for a walk.”

My head pops up, a baffled frown furling. “What?”

“Come on.”

He’s already trudging ahead of me, toward the tree line that borders the lake. Hesitating, I glance over my shoulder at the brightly lit house swarming with life and music. Silhouettes dance and sway behind curtained windows and teenagers fill a bubbling hot tub, squealing and splashing with cocktails in hand.

When I look back at McKay, he’s yards ahead of me, dissolving into the stretch of darkness.

Worried about him going into the woods alone and intoxicated, I follow.

I jog forward, catching up to him before he reaches the trees. “Did I infect you with my invaluable advice and positive spirit?” I ask, my feet moving at double the speed to maintain his pace. “Maybe I’m cooler than I thought.”

---